Where Was I?

 You were everything to me
 My love
 My hope
 My enabler
 My friend
 My future and my past
 I let it all go because I didn’t love myself
I didn’t love who I had become
Therefore, hadn’t a chance in the world of loving you the way you’d deserved
I was utterly disgusted with where my life resided
 It was a mind boggling disappointment to see you go
 My heart began to atrophy, to wither when I finally realized it was over
 The pain was immense and overwhelming
 I could not see straight
 I did not want to feel or exist
 It was terrifying and yet tragically beautiful knowing that part of my life was over
Knowing something was gone that I could never have back was the most difficult part
I knew the horizon of change was closing in