deepundergroundpoetry.com
butterfly Affects
butterfly wings
in sinless flaps
from breeze to in hurricane?
as us, our words
gusts pass milleniums
namely christ's onanism
real shitstorm though
in sinless flaps
from breeze to in hurricane?
as us, our words
gusts pass milleniums
namely christ's onanism
real shitstorm though
Published 1st Aug 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 9
reads 826
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
1st Aug 2012 3:35pm
1st Aug 2012 7:58pm
Anonymous
2nd Aug 2012 5:17am
Good work
2nd Aug 2012 6:13am
13th Aug 2012 00:36am
fred
my good man. now i have spent almost
half an hour reading thru everything
you have here. a parallel universe.
one word. your poem defies critique.
nothing can change it. noone should
want to change it. you have played
and toyed with wires and finally
you have created a bomb that implodes.
and all you do is replicate those with
different elements.
i would say, work of art. installations.
not poetry. having said that i am unable
to say anything. i just feel the feel
and sneak away, silent and heavy.
in a good way. that is in no way honest
critique. oh, wait. it is. from my side.
keep them coming warrior. let the world worry.
light,
sumeet
my good man. now i have spent almost
half an hour reading thru everything
you have here. a parallel universe.
one word. your poem defies critique.
nothing can change it. noone should
want to change it. you have played
and toyed with wires and finally
you have created a bomb that implodes.
and all you do is replicate those with
different elements.
i would say, work of art. installations.
not poetry. having said that i am unable
to say anything. i just feel the feel
and sneak away, silent and heavy.
in a good way. that is in no way honest
critique. oh, wait. it is. from my side.
keep them coming warrior. let the world worry.
light,
sumeet
13th Aug 2012 9:36pm
oh nowander i ain't getting critiques
ahahha no one's gonna get the TOP CRITIQUE medal viewing my page then
yea most of my pieces revolves round my own philo-sophie
let the world worry :)
honored to have you drop by
ahahha no one's gonna get the TOP CRITIQUE medal viewing my page then
yea most of my pieces revolves round my own philo-sophie
let the world worry :)
honored to have you drop by
well so to say.:]
ever been to those minimalist art
exhibitions? your page has the same feel.
everyone saunters around. a cough. a nod.
careful observation. inspired stares.
nothing. communication process is a failure
in this domain. my worthless rant that is.
its complete in itself and the verses interact
constantly. the reader stops by and sees the reaction. end of story.
it's a good/bad thing in a bad/good world.
boonbane really. i wont want to critique
cause i am fascinated with the interaction.
of the words, concepts. everything.
be at it warrior. philo-sophie is worse than
most drugs. even love. be at it.
xx
ever been to those minimalist art
exhibitions? your page has the same feel.
everyone saunters around. a cough. a nod.
careful observation. inspired stares.
nothing. communication process is a failure
in this domain. my worthless rant that is.
its complete in itself and the verses interact
constantly. the reader stops by and sees the reaction. end of story.
it's a good/bad thing in a bad/good world.
boonbane really. i wont want to critique
cause i am fascinated with the interaction.
of the words, concepts. everything.
be at it warrior. philo-sophie is worse than
most drugs. even love. be at it.
xx
13th Aug 2012 10:01pm
nope, art are scarce in singapore, all i got are from the net or from drunken or drugged state hhahaahaa
these minimal pieces are recent tries, cause i find myself getting pretentious when forming it into something more and i saw your critique on another person and the word "authoritarian" strikes me. I'm avoiding that title hahaha, so yea i thought maybe I'll let the reader figure it out.
these minimal pieces are recent tries, cause i find myself getting pretentious when forming it into something more and i saw your critique on another person and the word "authoritarian" strikes me. I'm avoiding that title hahaha, so yea i thought maybe I'll let the reader figure it out.
26th Jul 2013 1:14am
odd perspectives with some jilted phrasing... fun in ways but rough to bite on... keep grindin
