~He Fixed My Broken Heart~

I was once a creature of the night
rejoiced in sin, the things I did just wasn't right
ran from God when he took my sister to his heavenly home
how did I not realize that what I was doing was causing me to be alone?
let guys touch me as only a husband should
ran as fast and as far from God as I could
and when he left me, believed a lie
and told me good bye and made me wish that I would die
let guys on line tell me they loved me
I was empowered by their lust and love
how did I not realize that it was me that separated myself from my precious Father above?
everything became black
everyone I turned to would only stab me in the back
I was drowning in my own sin
until I fell on my knees before him
he is my Father, my Creator, my Lover, my Closest Friend
and I will not turn away from my Father again
he loved me even as I spat in his face, placed the crown of thorns on his already blooded precious head
it should have been me on that cross
it was my sin, my blackness my selfishness, not his, yet he chose to die for a sinner such as me
a hypocrite, a liar, a lustful foolish creature
again and again I would return to him
only to walk away again
again and again I broke my own heart
from choosing from my Father to be apart
I am changed, and I refuse to stay the same
no more will I lust
no more will I hear the devils lies and leave my father again
and as for love?
I'm waiting for God to tell me he is the one