deepundergroundpoetry.com
bereft
Before you,
I was unaware of the
sucking void in my chest
the one that eats daisies
and plays the silly ‘she loves him’
game with the masticated petals.
Before you
I didn’t fuck up the points of view in poetry.
I was unaware of the
sucking void in my chest
the one that eats daisies
and plays the silly ‘she loves him’
game with the masticated petals.
Before you
I didn’t fuck up the points of view in poetry.
Published 23rd Jul 2012
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likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 4
reads 993
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The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Jul 2012 7:55am
Short and sweet. I like dry humour of this piece, despite the angsty nature of it, this made me laugh in understanding. No crit to offer, love this piece.
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
23rd Jul 2012 1:47pm
Anonymous
- Edited 28th Jul 2012 2:43am
28th Jul 2012 2:42am
Hi there, Betty. Thought I'd finally stop by and comment here on this piece which I think is brilliant. I loved your last stanza; it gave a great punch! Damn, I just hate when men (imo) come along and screw shit up! But hey, they are beautiful, aren't they?
29th Jul 2012 1:19am
Thanks for stopping by Dev! 'Preciate it.
I hate it, too. Beautiful... hell yes, unbelievable but there is certainly beauty there. Love your observation.
Thanks again,
B
I hate it, too. Beautiful... hell yes, unbelievable but there is certainly beauty there. Love your observation.
Thanks again,
B
