deepundergroundpoetry.com
Mental Hospital
They all wanna know
They wanna know why I’m here
But I think the cuts on my face and neck make it very clear
It’s not that exciting
You just sit and talk, medicate and sleep
Some nights I’ll hear people cry
As I hear them cry, I am writing down ways that I could possibly die
Let’s sleep on this hospital floor
It’s much more comfortable than the bed
Then someone begins to knock on the door
“Are you ok? Do you need anything?”
No
I just want you to leave me alone
I don’t care if I get better anymore
I just want to go home
I don’t want the meds
I want my bed back
And my shower
And my sister
Words can’t even begin to explain how much I miss her
I don’t want therapy
I don’t want any more problems
I just want to be perfect
This place is a mad house
The nights are sleepless
People always fight and kids always punch walls
The only excitement there is, is when someone calls
But it’s never for me, no
No, no, no
I just can’t wait until it’s time for me to go
To go away from this awful place
I now cry every night cause I finally realized that there is actually something wrong with me
Maybe I’m actually going crazy
It is my addiction that is driving me insane
I’m not even sure if I can remember my own name
Is there an AA for self-harm?
Well, I have to go now
It’s time to go to bed
But I won’t sleep, oh no
The thoughts will just stir around in my head
I’ll have suicidal thoughts but nobody will ever know
I would love to stay and talk but I can’t anymore
Cause somebody is knocking
Knocking at my already open door
They wanna know why I’m here
But I think the cuts on my face and neck make it very clear
It’s not that exciting
You just sit and talk, medicate and sleep
Some nights I’ll hear people cry
As I hear them cry, I am writing down ways that I could possibly die
Let’s sleep on this hospital floor
It’s much more comfortable than the bed
Then someone begins to knock on the door
“Are you ok? Do you need anything?”
No
I just want you to leave me alone
I don’t care if I get better anymore
I just want to go home
I don’t want the meds
I want my bed back
And my shower
And my sister
Words can’t even begin to explain how much I miss her
I don’t want therapy
I don’t want any more problems
I just want to be perfect
This place is a mad house
The nights are sleepless
People always fight and kids always punch walls
The only excitement there is, is when someone calls
But it’s never for me, no
No, no, no
I just can’t wait until it’s time for me to go
To go away from this awful place
I now cry every night cause I finally realized that there is actually something wrong with me
Maybe I’m actually going crazy
It is my addiction that is driving me insane
I’m not even sure if I can remember my own name
Is there an AA for self-harm?
Well, I have to go now
It’s time to go to bed
But I won’t sleep, oh no
The thoughts will just stir around in my head
I’ll have suicidal thoughts but nobody will ever know
I would love to stay and talk but I can’t anymore
Cause somebody is knocking
Knocking at my already open door
Published 18th Jul 2012
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Anonymous
18th Jul 2012 1:03am
You are very brave to come out of the closet...a closet that is worse than being gay....One in four Americans will have a depression in their lifetime and there is so much solid scientific evidence that this is a brain problem. You did not do it to yourself. They do not even treat mentally ill patients with as much kindness as they do cancer patients. This sounds personal and if it is....I wish you the best of luck. It is tricky...but people with mental illness have contributed great things to society: Abraham Lincoln was depressed, Van Gogh was bipolar, John Cheever, an author, was suicidally depressed, it goes on.....You may be challenged but that does not mean you cannot do great things.
Peace
Kitty
Peace
Kitty
18th Jul 2012 1:07am
16th Aug 2012 2:10pm
