Treason

My favorite of yours so far. Nice and smooth. No flaws . Tells her/him like it is. My favorite stanza was, tell your secrets to the wind. Very good

Awesome gigi, glad it worked for ya

Makes me think of Jean-Paul Sartre. "Life is a comedy for those who think, a tragedy for those who feel." 'Cept that this one feels opposite-directioned. As in subject-person is clinging to the rational stone of black-and-white intellect and fighting the swells you have to bring, the animation and empathy that formed the explosion. Self-treason, for sure. Some locks are just damn-near impossible to slip I suppose.

Loki I thank you much for sharing the wisdom once again.. Surely to start outshining the poems w the comments.

LB there seems to be a storm brewing in you lately. A good strong wind that will push you somewhere new. You are still doing the light dance. That probably will stay the same, but I get the feeling that you want to put your fist through the wall of appearance and fish something out from the other side. So you can't go all in with opiates. Hallucinogens, philosophy, and science get you part of the way there.

I know this is just a specific piece for a purpose, that the indignation rises from a specific personal situation, but with each thing you put down I do feel you have a greater urgency to punch that hole with words. I hope you get some damned answer man. If you do, bring it back to share.

The last stanza is truly a killer piece of natural philosophy.  

Steve my man cant thank u enough for such a thoughtful and generous incite. Really. I am feelin that wind and in general your pretty spot on. Fortunatly the opiates arent even half in, and my nervous system wont allow for too much hallucinogenic exploration these days. Philosophy and science are indeed aiding me to return to the real all in artist I was and am returning to. Thanks again man

lb

brother. :) this is one of your very
best so far in my opinion. you remind
me of shiva in his rudra avatar.

'the dance of death.'

i will come back again. this is not it.

much love,

xx

sumeet

Thanks sumeet.your always welcome round these parts

(Playing catch-up)

DUDE! FUCK! That's g-damn gold right there.

It punches the reader in the face in the first freaking stanza, and... keeps... hitting...

SO. much awesome.

Thanks betty much... Glad it hit,certainly was intent. even desperation needs a fighting chance

Desperation is where the best fights come from! When you have nothing to lose, you're can hit hard as shit, but even better? You can take a punch because you're numb.

Writing desperate sometimes should be like, mandatory