deepundergroundpoetry.com
Fluffy. Bunny. Shit.
Spend right now,
as you,
with me,
our toes entwined,
as we hold our our bruised noses —
the hapless victims of
failed butterfly kisses.
I'll host kangaroo court
playing the defense,
wearing your briefs,
while you lie back,
amused by my
passionate pontificating to
the sea-of-grass which bears witness.
And I'll sentence you
to the touch of my
thumb tracing the worry
lines from your brow,
just for a moment,
just before tucking a
wilted daisy behind your ear,
and kissing a soft hello
across your jaw line.
Then the fat drops of a
summer shower will hit,
as the damn sprinklers turn on
(because that never freaking fails)
sending us fleeing,
and all of this will have
never
had meaning;
and all of this will have
never been
at all.
spend right now
as you,
with
me
as you,
with me,
our toes entwined,
as we hold our our bruised noses —
the hapless victims of
failed butterfly kisses.
I'll host kangaroo court
playing the defense,
wearing your briefs,
while you lie back,
amused by my
passionate pontificating to
the sea-of-grass which bears witness.
And I'll sentence you
to the touch of my
thumb tracing the worry
lines from your brow,
just for a moment,
just before tucking a
wilted daisy behind your ear,
and kissing a soft hello
across your jaw line.
Then the fat drops of a
summer shower will hit,
as the damn sprinklers turn on
(because that never freaking fails)
sending us fleeing,
and all of this will have
never
had meaning;
and all of this will have
never been
at all.
spend right now
as you,
with
me
Published 28th Jun 2012
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likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 965
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
28th Jun 2012 8:13pm
Betty
The best love poem I have read in sometime.
Undoubtedly. You have created a fluid portal of living images here. And there are so many moments in it. Beautiful moments.
You had at me at S1. Noone writes like that anymore. Old school. Bruised nose was a golden touch. [Yes.]
I love how you always use inner-wear/clothes as a strong reference. Those buggers can be very interesting characters/additions to the context of a poem. 'Brief' won't be brief post that use in S2.
S3 was glee. I don't know puritans but humans, they are bound to smile reading it. It's kissable, so good that moment that was there.
[daisies are always good]
S4. Drops is used twice.
(because that never freaking fails)
This was a pure Betty moment. A tiny addition and it unfurls whole schools.
The end was wow. Moments when one shakes heads
and quietly mouths damn. The dots get connected.
The story is defined. Bravo.
Job well done, maam.:)Loved this write and the title now makes me smile wryly.
Write on,
Sumeet
The best love poem I have read in sometime.
Undoubtedly. You have created a fluid portal of living images here. And there are so many moments in it. Beautiful moments.
You had at me at S1. Noone writes like that anymore. Old school. Bruised nose was a golden touch. [Yes.]
I love how you always use inner-wear/clothes as a strong reference. Those buggers can be very interesting characters/additions to the context of a poem. 'Brief' won't be brief post that use in S2.
S3 was glee. I don't know puritans but humans, they are bound to smile reading it. It's kissable, so good that moment that was there.
[daisies are always good]
S4. Drops is used twice.
(because that never freaking fails)
This was a pure Betty moment. A tiny addition and it unfurls whole schools.
The end was wow. Moments when one shakes heads
and quietly mouths damn. The dots get connected.
The story is defined. Bravo.
Job well done, maam.:)Loved this write and the title now makes me smile wryly.
Write on,
Sumeet
Thanks Weirdo.
Loved this review. Good catch on the drops.
Old school isn't a dirty word. There's a romance to the antique stuff you know?
(Plus I've been reading Lawrence Ferlinghetti. Best love poem ever? come lie with me and be my love by LF. Heavily influenced this poem stylistically. Go read it. Then read all of Starting from San Francisco. It's good for the soul.
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/come-lie-with-me-and-be-my-love) .
Again, thanks for the kickass review.
Loved this review. Good catch on the drops.
Old school isn't a dirty word. There's a romance to the antique stuff you know?
(Plus I've been reading Lawrence Ferlinghetti. Best love poem ever? come lie with me and be my love by LF. Heavily influenced this poem stylistically. Go read it. Then read all of Starting from San Francisco. It's good for the soul.
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/come-lie-with-me-and-be-my-love) .
Again, thanks for the kickass review.
28th Jun 2012 10:25pm
p.s- Just read 'Come lie with me and be my love'.:)
Don't have words. [Am so so happy] Ah! Thank you.
You are awesome. I think i should make him the second poet I will read. I am sure he has a lot in store already. Merci madmoselle.
Don't have words. [Am so so happy] Ah! Thank you.
You are awesome. I think i should make him the second poet I will read. I am sure he has a lot in store already. Merci madmoselle.
28th Jun 2012 11:54pm
Ah, this is lovely. I love the bit about the butterfly kisses.
Overall, I love the way it flows. I read it aloud and it sounds beautiful. Brava! x
Overall, I love the way it flows. I read it aloud and it sounds beautiful. Brava! x
29th Jun 2012 3:12am
30th Jun 2012 1:49pm
Just had to sign in to comment on this. The title grabbed me, brought to mind a few ermm, discussions I have I had with others.
An excellent well wrought write, much enjoyed.
An excellent well wrought write, much enjoyed.
