deepundergroundpoetry.com
a w i s h
a small speck of dust in familar muck
holds the key to a million riddles
it blooms into a momentous creation
laudable and divine at its very core
far from random and so nearly perfect
the harbinger of peals of laughter
and the soft mist of innocent warmth
it lurches out post the eternal float
from the clandestine yet comforting
darkness that eventually fills in the
colour and mass and every single aspect
that will ever define its existence
its a journey from murky transparence
to the cold bright chaos of a medium
noxious boisterous and yet amidst the
whirling storm there is a serenity
a moment of profound overwhelming in
which there is a sound of a shrill cry
thus the eternal cycle begins to move
it still does albeit in newer paths
higher terrains alien climates but
all of these strangely seem familiar
may it emerge unscathed in the end with
an eternity of beauteous memories that
glow in the evanescent murk of non-being
because this is a mere minute fraction
smaller than your very first sensation
that you have always known since forever
*(Old write)
Published 14th Jun 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
14th Jun 2012 6:07pm
Maybe it's because I'm obsessed with the idea of something so small containing such multitudes, and light emerging from darkness, but I'm in love with this poem right now. In my opinion this vibrant philosophical poem is one of your best. It takes the reader on a journey through a perception of the universe which feels unique and alive.
I have two suggestions: one, that you remove every dash except the one between "non" and "being". They aren't needed. And two, that you dispense with the capital letters. I don't think they're needed either, but that's only a piddling point, and unlike the dashes doesn't make much difference either way.
Critique is JMHO. Thanks for the read.
I have two suggestions: one, that you remove every dash except the one between "non" and "being". They aren't needed. And two, that you dispense with the capital letters. I don't think they're needed either, but that's only a piddling point, and unlike the dashes doesn't make much difference either way.
Critique is JMHO. Thanks for the read.
Jack
I love that idea as well and it's in fact everywhere.
Every single thing I see is a standing testimony to
that fact. Even the smallest of seeds.
I have taken your suggestions. Abolished.
Thank you. Like I had told you, it was just a birthday
wish. In fact when I first uploaded it there was a small
note for the readers. Later I felt it was overwhelmingly
impulsive and childish. So I got rid of it. But this makes
me think: Something almost written from the heart, at one
go is better than an hour of writing and rewriting and
editing. Strange and yet, beautiful.:)
Glad it worked. Good to have you around.
Sumeet
I love that idea as well and it's in fact everywhere.
Every single thing I see is a standing testimony to
that fact. Even the smallest of seeds.
I have taken your suggestions. Abolished.
Thank you. Like I had told you, it was just a birthday
wish. In fact when I first uploaded it there was a small
note for the readers. Later I felt it was overwhelmingly
impulsive and childish. So I got rid of it. But this makes
me think: Something almost written from the heart, at one
go is better than an hour of writing and rewriting and
editing. Strange and yet, beautiful.:)
Glad it worked. Good to have you around.
Sumeet
