a common day

number run though my mind like water drops in rain
36 25 31 3 8 61 94 13 48
just running never annoys never hurts
then the burning sights
memories how i miss seeing
just look at someone like there not there see right though them
i liked what i saw i trusted
its so stupid in my logical sight
why care about others why empathy why love why feel pain anger makes more since
every-time eyes close i see her when i open them that image her face that smile
i trusted and love still flows to her but why how does my nature know bonds
then the urges every point every knife every match i could cut burn i can hurt
and on the bad days i do
mutilate my skin
drink my blood
burn what's left
something has to suffer
i can't hurt others
but i know what i can get away with
and i feel powerful i feel glorified i feel importuned
but its darkness smoke covering you with lies while tearing your world apart
soon death pain blood Lucifer cover my world
in the small places i had my happiness but there disintegrated ruined
flours light butterflies the good moments with alexa and tala gone
even my light the one that keeps me alive its dim its flickering in and out
i grab my tool i find my vain
i plan to sever my brain
but i can never can
i brake out crying
its to much i don't wanna die like this
but its to little to live on
so here i am crying to sleep alone again
just a common day