deepundergroundpoetry.com
Leaving
The kids on a sea cliff.
Three futures.
Three dreams.
Three minds.
Three bodies on the edge,
staring at the stars.
One sits down,
content to stay there
watching sunsets
and seeing others live.
Another starts walking,
close enough to see over
but too far to trip,
just biding his time,
the calculated risk taker.
The third kisses them goodbye,
takes a step back,
and throws herself off,
praying to grow wings,
because hope and air
are all that's left,
and faith is feathering her back.
Three futures.
Three dreams.
Three minds.
Three bodies on the edge,
staring at the stars.
One sits down,
content to stay there
watching sunsets
and seeing others live.
Another starts walking,
close enough to see over
but too far to trip,
just biding his time,
the calculated risk taker.
The third kisses them goodbye,
takes a step back,
and throws herself off,
praying to grow wings,
because hope and air
are all that's left,
and faith is feathering her back.
Published 7th Mar 2010
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8th Mar 2010 4:05am
This is a great poem. The language is rich; three bodies on the edge, staring at the stars..seeing others live. But my favorite part of all is the last verse, especially the last line; faith is feathering her back. It's just exquisite and perfect. A phrase for an entire century. In fact, it's so good, I know that sometime, somewhere it will come to mind to use perhaps in a poem of mine, and I will be in real danger of stealing it, years from now when I've forgotten all about reading it in this amazing piece. It's not that your poem is not memorable; it is, and more, but I have no more delusions about the capacity of my mind grown older.
13th Mar 2010 2:56am
*happy dance* I'm really glad you liked it, and thank you much for the awesome feedback. ^^ I'm pretty proud of that last line.
8th Mar 2010 4:49am
..at differing perspectives on life. I get the feeling this has been carefully measured out on to the page and it's all the more insightful for that. This certainly makes me want to read more from you, Clairent.
13th Mar 2010 2:55am
