deepundergroundpoetry.com
Million Pieces Stained in Red
A million pieces all in red
Not a single drop is shed
Not a single drop for me
Not a single drop for them
Every drop, I shed for thee
But all I see
Is a million pieces stained in red
Not a single drop is shed
Not a single drop for me
Not a single drop for them
Every drop, I shed for thee
But all I see
Is a million pieces stained in red
Published 5th Mar 2010
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Anonymous
6th Mar 2010 5:02am
great tenderness and deep feeling in this one, I really love how much you can convey through these sparse lines.Could I say it is better if you use some punctuations(i am lazy with them myself, so i cant really advice---lol)I noticed this because I dont think you need to capitalize all the intial letters.Start using punctuations and use capitals only in a line that follows one with a full-stop. I think that would give it more flow. But then Im nitpicking ofcoz,I really love this one:-)
6th Mar 2010 3:33pm
