deepundergroundpoetry.com
My Jeannie
My Jeannie with the light brown hair
ain't how I think of you.....
lots of names suggest themselves,
especially when we screw.
I want to shout my love, my bitch
and lick your cunt anew
to put my fingers in your arse,
and bite your clitoris too.
There are so many lovely names
my slut, my whore are two
I love to lie between your legs,
you need a seeing-to.
Oh you are mine and I am yours
our hours together few
so let us both each other love,
come give my dick a chew.
ain't how I think of you.....
lots of names suggest themselves,
especially when we screw.
I want to shout my love, my bitch
and lick your cunt anew
to put my fingers in your arse,
and bite your clitoris too.
There are so many lovely names
my slut, my whore are two
I love to lie between your legs,
you need a seeing-to.
Oh you are mine and I am yours
our hours together few
so let us both each other love,
come give my dick a chew.
Published 5th Jun 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
I like that its an odd blend between feeling love and lust. Its reminds me of something I wrote before, but yeah I like the pure passion tellin her all the dirty things you want to do. I like the line "oh you are mine and I am yours" it expresses what I call push-pull sex. A feeling of having ownership, and also a feeling of being owned. "she's MY whore nobodyelses, and I AM her's"
Its good to see a consistent rhyme scheme. The use of a first name as title and first line makes it feel like its intended to be intimate and NOT offensive or degrading.
Nice concept and structure. Good job
Its good to see a consistent rhyme scheme. The use of a first name as title and first line makes it feel like its intended to be intimate and NOT offensive or degrading.
Nice concept and structure. Good job
3rd Feb 2013 3:39pm
Thanks wolfman
I registered on this site but not been on since.
Jeannie is a Welsh woman who was a lover for many years. Really passionate and loving.
Most of my poetry has her as my muse. I will get some more on here soon.
Been busy!!
David
I registered on this site but not been on since.
Jeannie is a Welsh woman who was a lover for many years. Really passionate and loving.
Most of my poetry has her as my muse. I will get some more on here soon.
Been busy!!
David
14th May 2013 11:06am
Love the flow...the names...the vision of rawness!
Another fantastic write!!!And so very HOT!!! ;-)
Another fantastic write!!!And so very HOT!!! ;-)
25th Jun 2013 8:56pm
Hello again Tommielyn
This site seems to have been down for a while - good to see it back again.
I will certainly publish some more shortly - we all have two sides if we have truly lived - the prosaic and the profane.
David
This site seems to have been down for a while - good to see it back again.
I will certainly publish some more shortly - we all have two sides if we have truly lived - the prosaic and the profane.
David
