I remember silly things.

My memory is to be cursed,
It makes me a masochist.
It makes me remember certain dates,
Of certain happenings.
It makes me remember first impressions,
First words, first meetings,
First coffees, first long talks in the summer sun.

I remember silly things,
Like when you were blonde,
And you didn't smile.
Until I made you laugh.
And you were harsh,
Until I gained your sympathies.
And I couldn't stand you,
Until I adored you.

I remember silly things,
Like us sitting in the courtyard.
Me chain smoking,
You going off on tangents.
Never actually finishing a conversation.
So telling you what I was going to say by email.

I remember silly things,
Like you being evil to me,
Because you knew I loved it.
You saying I didn't count,
Because I relished in it.
You calling me a friend for the first time,
And me basking in the glory of it.

I remember Silly things.
Like the first secrets we shared.
How controversial and shocking they were,
Yet how they were nothing to us.
How they made us blackmailable, mutually.
But that thought never arose.

I remember silly things,
Like that bloody nickname,
That I still hate.
But adore secretly, when it comes from you.
Even though I still protest.
This Lady doth protest too much.

I remember silly things.
Like Mother's day,
A day ruined years ago
But salvaged
With sweet memories.
Of fixing presents,
Making coffee,
And a mental hangover.

I remember silly things.
Like the thought
That I could ever win someone like you.
I remember silly things,
Like the thought I was good enough.
I remember silly things,
Like thinking I had a chance.

I only remember silly things.