Engraved Regrets

I wish I could say that I hadn’t tried my hardest
but we both know I grasped at straws. I hate myself for that
It was the night you left me alone again,
the night I cannot remember and don’t care to

Everytime my eyes opened, you were never there
In the days we did talk more, you were never really there either
I carried your ghost in my arms knowing you will never appear,
knowing you’re always going to choose to stay dead to me

Even now, you’re a corpse walking amongst the living
It would kill your brain to pick me over your own insecurities,
over anything you let consume your entire being
Lining excuses for every little needle of pain I receive

When I lay awake in my bed, I think about who you are to me
But I won’t tell you what I know anymore, after all
You never did put in enough care to listen to me
So, why should I keep answering back?

                              this was never truly to protect me,
                              you know that