but can you l*ve me in the dark

I couldn’t pay the light bill  
when you left  
so I stand in the dark  
like a wraith  
waiting for a taste  
of an unwilling soul  
 
and you came in  
using your cell-phone flashlight  
like you were in a rock concert,  
or hunting for buried treasure,  
or seeking initials carved into  
a dusty mantle.  
 
my pupils split as you  
brought harsh light  
into a world  
only lit by missed dreams  
 
small plinks of blood  
puddled against my  
shoeless feet,  
my fingers  
splintered cacti  
from tracing our names  
because  
 
Every time you left  
the bill collector took  
a little more skin from a back  
I swore knew the  
shape of your chest  
 
and every time you left  
you swore it was forever,  
 
I would have  
told you what it is  
to be a man.  
I would have told you  
to be strong enough  
to be weak …  
 
but your only weakness  
seems to be  
returning  
to me  
 
and now my heart’s a  
naked pauper  
in a black room  
as you ask about mercy  
 
darling I can’t afford mercy  
It cost more than heat,  
or light, or salvation  
and you’re here  
with lips on my wrist  
so I’m obviously beyond that shit  
 
but you ask about mercy  
brushing a strand of hair  
from my underground eyes  
 
darling.  
I can’t.  
 
I can't afford mercy.  
 
so I have to ask  
if you can love me  
in the dark