ricochet

You tell me I live for the misery
I'm so addicted to suffering
I don't want to taste happiness
on my tongue
and revel in the glory of it

I faced my demons
reached for the safety
of your hand
but you told me
I need to walk alone

I faced my demons
and my demons won

In the aftermath
you gift me empty words
tell me my happiness
is your top priority
like I was the only one
standing between me
and the things I asked for

So I let these lies ricochet
carbon monoxide bullets
in a void of bullet proof glass
when they hit
you hope they'll make me forget
you're a liar

Take my sadness
my anger
my fears
turn them into weapons
you can use against me
and then ask me
why I'm not happy

Give me everything in abstraction

Give me everything
except what I asked for

What I want doesn't matter
when it doesn't fit
the manicured dream
you've cut for us

Ask me again why I'm not happy
and then tell me I'm wrong
tell me I'm wrong

I'll let the bullets ricochet
gaslight myself with the lies
I swallow like candy anyway