obstacle course existence

 
sometimes I wonder
if my life would be simpler
if I could just think more...linear
I watch others move from A to Z
so effortlessly
they look at a thing
& seem to get it first try
while I study it
turn it over & around
flummoxed
until I just put it down
step back & move along
stuck on the struggle bus
never quite able to debark at the right station
I'm convinced they screwed up my ticket
others got a particular destination
& I got the what-the-fuck chaos pass
going in circles over the same path
eventually I do arrive
but never at the correct time
late & out of breath
finally at the party...
but everyone else already left