buried in clouds

One day my heart will have its final beat
Many, many years from now
And I wonder who I will go searching for first
I would assume it would be the one who helped conceive me
And confront the cowardly man in the sky who stole the father from an innocent daughter
Or maybe I’ll be too afraid to confront that
And it will be the one I thought I was in love with
To ask him one more time if he actually thought I was beautiful
Unless I’m too afraid to hear his answer and I decide to talk rock and roll with Kurt Cobain
I could also choose to have a glass of wine and paint the scenery with my best friend
Ultimately it will be up to me
To choose from the many men in the sky  
Instead of choosing myself and looking back at too many years of selflessness
Hopefully things are easier when I’m buried in clouds