Blue

I look in the mirror and see my eyes
The realization hits like a train
 and twists like a knife

My eyes are dull
Grey
Cloudy
And sad

The color faded with the hope that I had

When I let myself love you
My eyes were blue
Clear
Not like a stormy sea
They were like still water
But the the color faded as I started to believe
You never actually loved me

It isn't even about your love for me
It's about my love for you
Pushing you away
Pretending I don't care
Changes me
Not just my eyes
Everything about me
gets lost in the stormy sea behind them

It's not my eyes that are changing
You can just see behind them

The eyes are a window to the soul
It hurts me to watch mine darken
 as I try to let you go

If I let myself love you again
I know my eyes will be blue
Shining with my love for you

I'm afraid to let myself love you
Afraid of all the pain I could go through

I know I have to let myself love you
If I don't
I will forever be lost in the stormy sea

Watch my eyes
Watch the storm settle and the color return
It is my only physical evidence
that it's only for you that my heart yearns