If I'd been there..

 
I hope you know I’m thinking of you,
while you lie in that cold, fluorescent haze,
counting the cracks in the ceiling,
listening to the hum of a world
that keeps moving without you.
I know how it feels.
I know how the walls whisper
like they want to keep you forever.
I know how the silence
can be louder than the screams
that got you there in the first place.

I’ve been there too.
More times than I care to count.
I know the weight of a locked door,
the way time slows down
until it feels like you’re drowning in days
that don’t belong to you.
And I know—God, I know—
how easy it is to believe
that no one is thinking of you at all.
But I am.

And I wish I had been there
the day they took you away.
I wish I had been beside you,
a shield between you and whatever hell
led to this.
Because if I had—
if I had—
you’d still be here.
Still beside me.
Still laughing.
Still unknowingly being loved.

But I wasn’t.
And now all I have
are words that may never find you.
Poems scrawled into the void,
songs sung to empty rooms,
whispers lost to the spaces
where you should be.

I don’t know if you’ll ever read this.
I don’t know if my voice
will ever reach you through the static.
But if it does—
if you hear anything at all—
let it be this:

You are not alone.
Not forgotten.
Not lost.

I am still here.
Still thinking of you.
Still waiting.
Still hoping.