Anomaly

The reason I stopped looking for love is because it genuinely didn't find me.

I tried and I tried on those dating sites only to be met with incompatibility, lack of commitment, or toxicity.

Here's the thing I'll just never understand. Why is that the people who seem sweet and actually caring leave because of my mental illness? And then the toxic people who I don't want stay?

I'm not saying this has always been the case; guys have left or stayed for a myriad of reasons, toxic or not. But I've noticed a pattern of some kind. That the not as toxic people are out of my reach, and that the toxic people are in my reach. The readily available ones make me feel unsafe, and the ones far away are safe.

It seems like it would be an anomaly to find someone who both is sweet, compatible, and can stay.

For now, I'll just continue my stories.

But it's an experience that still leaves me absolutely perplexed.