The No Bullshit Way to Being Positive

It's a dance for sure- the difference between ignoring your negative emotions unhealthily and facing them head on with authenticity and sincerity. The art of trusting your emotions are there for a reason vs projecting all your hurts onto others. These things can bleed into each other, but it comes with experience knowing how to navigate this complex issue.

Let's take self fulfilling prophecies for example. People often say "If you can't do something, you're right. If you can, you're also right." It is implying that positive thinking can lead to better outcomes in life and become a self fulfilling prophecy just like negative thinking. But there's a caveat to this. If you're abuse victim like I am, and you're used to blaming yourself for all your problems, this type of thinking will and can lead down to a destructive path. Keeping you stuck in your negative thinking and never being able to get out of it. Because you continue to blame yourself and scream at yourself for not thinking more positively. Take things with a grain of salt.

Learn to blame others where blaming is due, and learn to keep yourself accountable where accountability is due. Learn to face your faults while gladly pointing out the faults in others and standing up for yourself. If you're someone who had to be a doormat for others, get a taste of the other side even if you may "overreact." Allow yourself to go a little crazy, get out the negativity unapologetically. Accept your shadow self.

Don't downplay your negative experiences for the comfort of others. If that relationship really broke your soul, express that. If that job loss killed your finances, say it. We live in a world that wants to sugarcoat the truth, but I dare ya to be a little mean, to be real instead of fake positive.

Don't try to change or fix your experience. You are feeling this way for a reason. Trust that it's not all just in your head, and assess all possibilities.

Remember that just because you have a negative thought, it doesn't automatically make it false. And just because you have a positive thought, it doesn't automatically make it true. I remember seeing a video on the Meetup zoom meeting I went to. It was talking about how positive thoughts don't need to be true; they just need to be helpful.

I heavily disagree. Psychology doesn't address the social injustices people face at all. Psychology is a tool, but it's not the end all be all.

As a white pretty girl, I'm made to feel like I don't have any problems. Being mentally ill, I'm made to feel like I'm a time ticking bomb for violence any day now. If you combine psychology with social justice issues, you can out win any negativity your way because you'll understand on a deeper level why you're feeling the way you feel.

Recognizing that thinking things like "I'll be a loser if I don't get this college degree or have this fancy job." isn't all made up in your head. It comes from a society that believes in hustle culture; values being a workaholic and greed. You can't really change the thought if you don't realize that yes, according to society, you might be deemed a loser, but recognizing that the value in placing your worth on your own journey rather than what society thinks will allow you to win.

I recognize being mentally ill will mean I won't be as readily understood or accepted like others will, but accepting myself for the badass I am is more than enough to carry me through.

This is the art of realistic positivity.