Malt Liquor Chiltlins

It's a Southern Black tradition to boil chitlins in a pot between Christmas and New Year's
We clean and let them simmer for damn near 2 days
But my sistah got frightened despite the holiday season
She thought her probation officer was near, so she poured all the alcohol we were sippin’ into the chitlins
Tossed the cans into a neighborhood trash bin
And then, let them marinate during the Bills game
If you eat pork then you know that it soaks in everything
I know the ancestors were pissed
And I was left questioning
Yo, you poured malt liquor into the chitlins???
A steaming pot of Mike's Hard Lemonade intestines, waiting to be devoured
I was silently bothered by this discovery
I know the ancestors were pissed

Now, Pork can kill you on its own
Tear up yo arteries, heart and cholesterol
But then she go on and add alcohol
There's something deeply wrong with that

Then, she served them to her husband
As he ate eagerly
She looked on
Then he fell asleep
She exclaimed: It did what it was supposed to do
Bitch!
Tell me you wanna kill ya husband without telling me, straight up, you wanna kill ya husband
Ain't no batter, bases, sauces, syrup, mayonnaise, paste, or basil leaves
We like it raw when it comes to Southern made Chitlins
Maybe onions

After a while he wanted more, once he'd awaken, they've been sitting on the table,
But they got cold
If you know anything about pork, you cannot reheat twice
Especially not these Natty Daddy pig guts
LaBatt Max pork backs,
These Wine cooler poop shooters
Those Truly Seltzers make for an unruly bowel movement
I tossed them out only to protect him, because heaven knows the holidays can have us fucked up
Especially by your trusted ones
Stay safe and stay blessed