An Untold Love Story From Afar

While I do tend to caught up about experiences with Josh, I do wish to explore the magical depths of other unfinished relationships I've had in the past.

There was this one blonde haired guy I saw waiting in line for meds. We were at PETC. I saw him from afar, but from a momentary glance, I knew there was something about him that I wanted. I was friends with this girl who wanted to flirt with him while I quietly observed in the background. This girl soon formed a clique with this other girl, this guy, and that one guy I liked.

I felt intense pangs of jealousy for the attention the girl was getting with the guy, but there was just something unspoken about he'd come over to talk to me when his clique wasn't around. It felt like in those romantic movies where the guy goes over to the girl who doesn't need to exert her magnetism and worth. She just has this quiet confidence that glosses over all the girls seeking his attention.

I could tell he probably liked me more than the girl, and honestly, I was relieved when the girl got transferred to another facility. The other girl was telling the one guy I liked to not break that girl's heart at all costs. But I understood that hearts will be broken without meaning to. And I'll always wonder if it was truly me who he liked.

Guess I'll never know, but that experience made a lasting impact. It made me rethink in a lot of ways. It taught me that if someone wants to pay attention to you, they will. Don't beg for it because you deserve better. I know we can get bottled up into how much chemistry we had and feel we are spitting on that connection. But it's not about denying the connection.

It's about becoming the chooser instead of the chaser.

And I think all along, I have been the chooser without knowing.