utter chaos

 
direct vision this is madness speaking
should you want to talk to me
twilghted grief, midnight, addresses me
child of discontent, what troubles you
painful need speaks with the language of ache
grieving in the eternal with internal haunts
my feelings bring hurtful memories
 
sulking in the shadows I pull back into the darkness
covering myself with inky clouds
diluting my hurt with liquor
the spirits comfort
 
walking in the shaded doom
inspecting the beauty of the grey
lingers my emotions and I cry
fingering them I turn them into art
 
reflective of my being
stark contrast is the need, with the beautiful
raw thoughts clash with the fantasy
 
within me it's a war
to smile and be positive and the desire to let go
sinsiter stirrings speak expletives
my mind spins with disturbing thoughts
reconciling them inside they are for my dark room
morbid thoughts of crimson
 
a ghost exhales smog
representing my smoking habit
the other spirits look mischievous  
they shift with my mood
forming ghastly scenes  
then throwing up my facade
street performers kind of like carnies  
they help me hide things
 
hidden disaster a circus of feelings
abstract designs amusing the eye
juggling the clowns that come my way
it's a one way street
a dead end
 
do not enter is posted at the gate
beware those who walk this way
pure chaos ensues
 
creative insanity, profanity my dialect
interesting skeletons dancing in my closets
spin the bottle, it points at you
open revolver is my mouth
with pointed words
 
kiss me if you please
but be warned
toxic tonic is my feelings for you