You.

Dear you,
Hey you. I can't talk to you. I call out your name, but you can't hear me. I miss you so bad that some days I don't think too clearly. You made me who i am today. And for that, ill tilt my hat, cause you taught me more than you will ever know. I just wish you were here with me to help teach and watch our daughter grow.
Life the way it is now, just doesn't seem real to me.. It’s almost like none of this is real, and i made up all these memories. Almost as if you died, or maybe it was me that died.. And if thats the case, hell is where I’ll be, until the day I can touch your face.
Two years have gone by, isn't that insane? See how fast people can forget you, when your inside those cold metal doors? Ill never forget you. Your soul is mine, and mine yours.
I woke up with you on my heart today.. Not unlike all the ones before. Sometimes I cant cope with this. With the guilt, loss and the scorn. If you only knew how alone one can be, even amidst a crowd of people. Its as though part of me is missing, or maybe im still asleep.
One thing i know for sure is that the rivers run deep, my love. And all trails connect. My heart aches for you and I wish this was a dream..
I bit off more than i can chew this time, and maybe I'm not as mean as I use to be.. Atleast not compare to this cruel unrelenting grand scheme.
I use to watch you map things out. Watch you calculate ideas. Watch you build unthinkable things with out effort, by hand. I watched you, and i learned things and still to this day, whenever I start just any old task, to myself I think and maybe even laugh, picturing you rubbing your chin going "hmmm"  
I know we aren't dead, and this isn't the end of the world.. But the doesn't make the hurt stop, or help raise our babygirl. The two of you are just alike.. No-one ever takes notice of the days end until night.
It's only time wasted if you let it be.. So make it all about growth and Shelby. Know you're not alone in there. Im with you every day. My heart is in shackles. My love is in chains.
Ill keep on missing you, until the day when we meet again.. But God damn it man.. Life really is hard with out my bestfriend. I love you.

-j