Lover Girl Syndrome

I can fall in love with anyone if you give me 3 days and a common thread. And I think that's my problem. I don't want or like cautiously climbing for the sake of saving face or being rational. I want to love them, and I want to do so now. This most recent boy? In 3 days, I imagined waking in his arms to snow outside my bedroom window. And he said he wanted casual. What the fuck is casual? I only know seeing someone and showing them a portrait of my perspective. That's how I love people. I want to show them magic and now I am terrified to be that. I have to DM someone and ask them "how was your day" for the 500th time and then behave as though I could not care less. I can't say:
 "Let me tend to your most seething wound. Make love to me against the doors of all your worst fears. Let me say your name so it sounds like the first time you've ever heard it spoken out loud. Look at me like I'm the Northern Lights from outer space. Know me like mycelium knows the Earth. Let me love you as resound as a shark in an extinction event."  
You can't say that.  
So, I have to learn to say polite goodbyes instead, tether myself to the knowledge most people only see skin deep when they look at me, and stand guard against my own tenderness.