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A Journey to Gehenna and Back Again
- A Journey to Gehenna and Back Again -
Concerning a Near-Death Experience I had on 11/20/2024 sometime just after supper.
Last night, I had a very frightening near-death experience that changed my entire life, my perceptions of living... and my understanding of both the hereafter and the nature of the three souls within me that comprise who I am, as well as what that means for me. I was upset around suppertime, the reason why is unimportant, but suffice it to say that two of the three souls inside of me... Kara and Paul... were in a very angry and at the same time depressed state of mind. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, as I always do after every meal or snack, and all of a sudden I felt dizzy, nauseous, and started to hear this very loud ringing in my ears, and I had the sensation of feeling as if I was losing all my worldly senses. I spat up a bit of blood into the sink, then realized I was about to faint. So I rushed into the bedroom, I was nervous, worried, scared, and nearly out of my mind with fear as I laid down on the bed. Not long after that, everything went black, as if the lights of life has been turned off and all I knew was darkness.
1. Paul and Kara's Near-Death Experience, written from their perspectives:
I was Paul, mostly, with the soul and spirit of Kara piggybacking within me so to speak, it was a very difficult thing to tray and describe. I was me... myself... but with Kara inside of me as well. I realized in that instant I was the male twin, Paul, who was supposed to have been born had the two fetus not fully combined in our mother's womb, resulting in the body being born as a single intersex individual, rather than the boy and the girl twins the ultrasound had originally shown. But the souls and spirits of the two twins have always still been within my hermaphrodite body, as I have written of before. Kara is a third soul, a third spirit who was assigned to be our guardian angel but who became trapped in our flesh with us. And in my afterlife that I was experiencing, Kara remained trapped my my soul's astral form. Chloe was nowhere to be seen... she being the other soul that shares our body normally, that of my twin sister. I wondered if she did perhaps move on to a totally different sort of afterlife, for I knew suddenly that I was dead as I gazed upon my body laying upon the bed, but was unable to touch it or return to it. All of a sudden, I was outside of the house... standing in the street as cars were going by. The cars passed on through me as if I was not even there. I looked up at the house, saw the light on in my room, and I do not know how I got to be outside of the house at all. Suddenly, a little girl was standing at my side, she looked about ten years old and she said her name was Emily. She was wearing a black dress with white diamond patterns on it, like a harlequin design, and her face was painted with goth style makeup. She had black hair with blonde roots which was done up in a high ponytail, and she had icy blue eyes. Not a thing about her frightened me, but she looked and acted in a way that some might consider to be just a bit creepy. Her voice was playful, as she told me that I was dead and she asked me to look upon my own reflection when next a car passed by. It was cold out, rainy and snowy and windy and miserable. But I could see myself clearly reflected in the window of one of the passing cars. I looked as I normally do, except that I was dressed in a clown costume that had a black and white harlequin design upon it, with baggy legs and billowy puffy sleeves. My face had no makeup on it, it was just... my face... but I was dressed in this peculiar attire that I most certainly was not wearing anything even close to when I was in my living body. Emily told me she needed to show me various things in both the small town of Dewitt, Iowa where I have been living and where I apparently died, and also in the not far off city of Clinton, Iowa. So she took me first to a church on the far side of town, one that was the same church as my partner Zoey's family attends. It was a much smaller church than theirs. The little girl, Emily, then took me to a house behind the church where the pastor of the church lived. I saw him asleep inside of the house, and she told me that he was damned and that when he dies he is going to Hell to suffer for his sins. I asked her what his sins were and she told me that he had raped and molested a little boy from his congregation. But that wasn't his sin; he sin was doing so while claiming to serve God, which is the ultimate blasphemy... claiming to serve God while using such a cover to commit acts such as that sort.
Emily then took me to a Catholic church in Clinton, and there she showed me a catholic priest who was likewise asleep in his living space. And the little girl told me of all the children... boys all... whom the priest had molested. She listed their names, but I cannot remember them now, and she said that this man, just like the pastor I had seen earlier, was guilty of the same sin but multiplied by the much bigger number of his victims. I asked her why she was showing me these things, and she said to me: “I show you these things so you will know and understand that there is justice in the universe, and beyond it.” I asked her what she meant by justice, and she showed me what awaits those two false servants of God in the hereafter. I saw a room not unlike a surgical space for performing operations. Strapped to tables in the middle of the room were the pastor and the priest. Four doctors came into the room, surgeons, but their faces were demonic and painted like clowns. They heated up two irons in ironing boards and then they surgically cut off both damned men's testicles which they put in a garbage disposal in a sink near the operating tables, and they turned the disposal unit on, shredding the testicles to bits and filling the sink with blood. Then they used the hot irons to cauterize the wounds before cutting off the two men's penis and slicing them like slices of carrots. They then force fed the pieces of flesh and meat to those two men, who choked upon the pieces but did not die. Emily told me this was done to them because of all the times they forced their penises into the mouths of their little boy victims unwillingly. Then, the demonic surgeons cut the damned men's faces into Glasgow grins and proceeded to slit their throats. The two evil men did not die, however, because this was Hell and their punishments had only begun.
Then, Emily took me back to Clinton and we were outside of a laundromat where two teenagers were hanging out, a teenage boy and a teenage girl who both looked rather average and normal. They looked like they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Emily said to me that the boy was damned because he had raped his girlfriend's best friend, which traumatized the victim. And that his girlfriend only was staying with him out of fear of what he could or might do to her as well. Emily then told me that the girlfriend was likewise damned because in anger over her best friend's rape she had taken her frustrations out on her little sister and she beat the poor girl, who ended up hospitalized because of it. Emily told me the two of them were slated for horrific punishments in the hereafter because they were both unrepentant of their wrongdoings and likely to never repent of them. I said to Emily: “But they're both young, do they not have their whole lives to repent?” and then the little girl showed me a vision in which the boy was in a motorcycle accident where he was impaled on a piece of metal and died while still a teenager. Then I saw a vision of his girlfriend laying dead in an alleyway someplace, apparently murdered in a horrific manner. Emily said to me: “For some, life is shorter than they realize. Youth is not a guarantee of a long life, nor a happy one in the end.” And I nodded my head in understanding. I asked her why it was she showed me that, and she said unto me: “So that you will know there is justice in this universe.”
Next, Emily took me to an old abandoned house where a little girl whose name Emily said was Lila... was hiding out, shivering, after she had been sitting next to a statue in one of the main streets of the city until at last she could take the cold no longer. The girl wore all black, looked much like she was trying to be a Wednesday Addams type, and she had black hair and brown eyes as well as pale skin. I asked Emily why this child was in such a terrible state so as to be hiding out or shivering in the streets, and I saw visions of what Lila had done to end up like that. Lila was probably only about eight years old, to be accurate about her age, and when she was six her father had raped her, which drove her to take out her rage and pain on her pet kitten, which she cut to pieces with a carving knife from the kitchen. The little girl, Lila, then fantasized about dissecting her brother after she read a book on anatomy while at school, which she took out from the school library. She never acted on it, however. Until one day, she believed she had stabbed her brother and slit her mother's throat, placing the knife in her father's hand so he would be blamed for their deaths and punished at last. Thinking she had done these deeds, but in reality under a self-induced delusion caused by her psychotic fantasies cased by her growing trauma...
Lila finally ran away from home, and Emily told me she perished somewhere far away in the end and that her body was never found, nor did her parents even bother to report their daughter as missing. The events I saw were all in the past, for Lila... Emily told me... was long dead. I asked her why she felt the need to show me and tell me of Lila, and she said it was because Chloe was with Lila in her own part of the afterlife and that Lila had become the same kind of guide that Emily was. Emily then took me to a mansion somewhere in Salem, Massachusetts and I could not be certain if the place existed in the realm of the living or if it existed only in the realm of the afterlife. But in the mansion I saw a table at which a great Thanksgiving feast was laid out, and I remembered that it was soon to be Thanksgiving this very month. But the mansion was vacant and empty. Emily took me to an art room full of various paintings, some of them unfinished, and she and I took brushes to blank canvases and began to paint. I helped the little girl to finish existing painting she had started, and she helped me to finish ones she said I had in fact started during trips to this section of the afterlife that I had before and did not remember. We spent some long hours, or so it seemed, painting thus and I asked Emily why she was so intent on spending all this time with me, and she said it was because even though I might not remember her now, I had a profound impact on her when she was alive, an impact so great she said that it made her the girl that she was now. She then asked me to follow her into the basement of the mansion and there I saw a group of cheerleaders, all of them with pale faces and mouths full of fangs, their eyes vacant and all of them no older than fifteen, with fifteen being the age of what seemed to be the oldest girl. They asked Emily if she wished to stay and play with them, and Emily said that we were only there to visit, but not to stay or indulge. Then Emily told me the girls had become vampire spirits after their deaths, feeding on the life essence of people in their dreams, but replacing the stolen essence with some of their own. They were now negative beings, who often when no victims could be gotten fed upon one another in a bizarre, unholy kind of sisterhood. I asked her why they lived in the basement, and Emily said: “We've tried to give them their own rooms, but they insist on living down here, saying they like the darkness.” and then Emily sighed, tears in her eyes, as she led me back to the dining room with the table and all the food upon it. A fireplace was nearby, it's fire crackling and it felt very warm to be next to it after all that journeying in the cold to get to this place. I asked Emily if I could return to my body soon, and she said to me: “We need to go to Hell first in order to ask permission of the one you serve, the one whom you made a bargain with long ago.” I said that serve only the Divine Force and Allah, and she said to me that even so... the old bargain needed to be honored, the old debt needed to be paid. She then did take me into the mansion's library which contained every imaginable book on the subjects of satanism, witchcraft, necromancy, demon and spirit summoning, blood sacrifices, ritualistic rape, tantric sex, and countless dark, in some cases twisted, occult rituals, practices, spells and rites. It was like a dark kind of reflection of a great library of all human knowledge. Only in this case it was dark knowledge, of the most forbidden sorts. I understood everything in these books, knowing that my own studies in all of the dark realms of human knowledge had enabled me to comprehend the books' contents without losing my sanity in the doing. Although Emily told me that I only was able to do so because I was already mad. She in the end decided it was pointless to pursue these books, and she took me back to the dining room where a servant girl brought in a metal box with strange designs upon its' surface. Emily told me to touch the box and concentrate on my heart's desire, which she said would call to the beings who could take me to Hell. I asked her if she was coming with me and she said: “I am, but only you can touch the box, only you can bear the pain of its' contents. It would destroy me.” and I opened the box after sitting on the floor in front of it, like a child opening a Christmas present but anxious as to its' contents. There was a bright light, but not blinding, emerging from the box and I opened it, and the box itself had inside of it nothing at all. Suddenly, however, I was surrounded by darkness all around and all about me and there were dark beings in that darkness wearing black gowns and black hooded cloaks. They were all tall and pale, and some had strange tattoos and piercings, and there were male and female of their kind but what they were I had no name to give. They were demons, of a sort, and that was all I understood.
Suddenly, chains were cast upon me, constricting my astral body, and I was reliving every single time and moment in my life in which I ever felt pain of any kind. Physical, metal, emotional, even sexual. I cannot describe the sensation of so much different varieties of pain. It was no longer torture after a bit, it became almost a twisted kind of ecstasy of sorts. If I was not mad already... I would have been, after that. Emily screamed that this was enough, and one of the tall demons removed the chains from me. I was able to stand up after that, but my limbs felt stretched and pained. But I was unchanged other than the pain in all my limbs. The demon who removed my chains told me to follow him to the entrance to Hell proper, and that this time... unlike during other such experiences I had in the past... we had to go through a place he called “The Maze”. He took Emily and I to a massive hedge maze filled with razor sharp thorns and beautiful flowers and plants of every imaginable variety. I have seen seen such lovely colors or perfect blossoms or smelled such beautiful scents as this garden contained. For the Maze was a garden as well as a hedge maze. The demon left us there, and Emil and I walked through the maze. As we did, however, it became impossible after a while to not be cut, scratched or sliced by the thorns. When we finally, seemingly hours later, emerged from the hedge maze we were both covered in our own blood. The blood of our astral bodies, which was red like that of our physical forms. We arrived at a circular marble amphitheater of the ancient Greek style, and before us was a metal tunnel that led off into pure darkness. The tunnel had sealing it off from our access a metal double gate that looked very modern, as did the tunnel itself, with flashing indicator lights and various mechanisms that we heard making noises within the gates. Suddenly, Emily said to me that I needed to face my greatest fear for the gates to be open for us. And out of the shadows of the amphitheater's columns came a woman who had no skin upon her, only bloody muscle tissue. I asked her who she was and she said: “I am no one.” but when she spoke it was with my own voice only a little bit more feminine than my usual tone. I felt as if I was going to faint again. I had an out of body experience once, way back when I still lived in the city of Easthampton, Massachusetts many years ago... after I fainted one night... in which I saw this exact same woman, this peculiar skinless version of myself. I remember Zoey asking me all about it after I came to, and me telling her all about the horrific vision. I remembered that moment with Zoey now, that night when I had fainted, the ghastly vision my eyes beheld. And here that vision was again, to confront me. I asked her again: “Who are you?” and her answer was the same: “I am no one!” and she told me to follow her. I felt fear the likes of which I have never known before, and she opened the metal, mechanical gates for Emily and I to pass through. She led us down the metal corridor beyond, and out of the walls of the corridor emerged every imaginable type of sharp instrument. Blades, saws, scissors, and more. We had to walk single file to avoid being cut to pieces as these objects, along with shadowy demonic beings, tried to slash at us and grab at us, and attempt to snatch us away. But with the skinless woman leading us forward, reminding us to stay in single file, we stayed safe and sound. The woman said to us as well: “Do not look in the alcoves on this tunnel, nor down the corridors that branch off from it on the dies, if you value your sanity.” I looked, however, and I witnessed every sort of imaginable torture, torment, and suffering known to humanity. And some the likes of which no mind could imagine, envision, or invent. A good number of it was self-inflicted, but much of it was overseen or conducted by demons and terrible lizard-like creatures with sharp fangs and sharp claws. If this was Hell, I saw no fire... nor ice... to torment people. Some of it was even psychological tortures, and those perhaps were the cruelest of all, each tailored to the personal and unique cases of those being tortured. I said to Emily: “I looked! And I feel no different than I was before. Does that mean I am mad?” and she then said unto me: “Yes! Only the mad could look upon such things and be unchanged by it.” And she was right, I was unchanged. At the end of the tunnel, we emerged into a vast modern looking city very similar to something like Tokyo for instance with neon lights and cars and electricity of course and all modern things and modern conveniences, and it looked almost like a cyberpunk dystopian future but I was assured by Emily that we were very much in a city at the deepest level of Hell itself. A city that she said she dared not name. It was a beautiful place, however, and I felt no sense of dream within it.
There were clouds in the sky and it was nighttime. There were only two times of day there... eternal afternoon and eternal night, with a span of day and morning lasting so short as to be in all practicality nonexistent. “This is not the part of Hell where people are brought to suffer.” Emily told me, and that made me feel a sense of relief, that I was here and thus not slated for further suffering. The skinless woman took us to just outside of a nightclub called “The Ninth Circle” which had a fire and ice motif to its' exterior. She told us to go within, and then she walked away to join the crowds of people walking along the streets of the city. I asked Emily who awaited us within and she said : “She whom you are so bound in service to, no matter what God or Goddess you serve.” And in my heart, I knew whom it was she meant. The ancient goddess Al-Lat, whom in this place was a dark shadow of Allah, a mirror of the Divine Force's most profound manifestation. I was expecting many things, all of them terrible, but what I found within that nightclub was the last sort of thing I would have expected. People here had granted to Al-Lat the ancient title of Lucifera, and everyone called her “Lucy” for short, almost as one might so grant a nickname to someone near and dear to them. People in this city loved her, evidently, and it did seem unto me that she was good to her subjects, for she was the absolute ruler of this place. It was she, as I said, whom we were to meet within. Inside, it was like a modern rave club, in keeping with all that we had seen of the city outside. People of every race, color, and creed danced and mingled in the club, partying and drinking, and enjoying themselves. Many wore rave attire, and had hair in punk styles. I was shocked to see such a display, and found it almost comforting. In corners, people were engaged in every imaginable sort of decadent, depraved, sexual activity and neither age nor gender mattered. The children here was just as depraved as the adults, and in some cases little boys and girls initiated what transpired. Innocence and temptation were delighted to be indulged in, and playfully defiled... in this place of insatiable revelries. A curtain of light was behind the stage where a band was playing, and a microphone was in front and center upon that stage. “So, where is the person or being we're supposed to be meeting here?” I asked Emily and she said: “Lucy should be arriving here shortly.” and after a while, two delicate feminine hands parted the curtain of light and out from behind the curtain came a girl who was thirteen years old, very curvy with fine breasts and a very nice plump butt. She wore a blood red romper that looked like it had at one time been white but was stained red. She had blood red nail polish on her fingers, blood red lipstick on her full, pouting lips... and blood red streaks all through her golden blonde hair. She had eyes that looked totally emerald green, with no whites in them at all. She got up to the microphone and said: “Welcome, welcome to my club tonight! Ladies of the evening, not so gentle gentlemen, friends and fiends, demons and devils, ghosts and ghouls, you are so so very welcome here, as always.” She pointed out different people she knew here and there, and said to them that she was thankful for different things they did in her name when they were alive. Some had blown themselves up in her name, others had killed in her name, and many had taken their own lives in other ways in her name. And she had many names, countless names, and she listed them all until I couldn't recall them after some time of it. She said that they weren't here to suffer though, because they were all honest about their sins, and never once committed them in God's name. But they had suffered before being allowed into this club, they had paid for their sins whether great or small. They had earned this respite through blood, sweat, and bitter tears. Then, Lucy as everyone called this girl the most as they chanted her various names, began to sing and dance and perform on the stage. She did exotic dancing, then skipped about innocently before stopping to perform stand up comedy for a bit before ending her show with a big finish like a pop singer's concert. She then screamed playfully and got off the stage to walk over to Emily and I. Nearby was the girl Lila from when Emily has shown me her life and told me of her death before, and she was dressed in an outfit identical to Emily's but with reverse color scheme to it. And whereas Emily had black hair with blonde roots, Lila had blonde hair with black roots, and I realized their hair was dyed in both cases. I asked where Chloe was and Lucy said: “She's right here!” and she indicated herself, but I didn't understand her meaning so I said: “Lucy, I don't see here here at all.” and then Lucy replied: “Sure you do! You just don't realize it's her is all.” At the time, it was odd.
Then Lucy kissed me very, very suddenly, after giving a juice box full of blood red juice Lucy called “blood wine” to both Emily and Lila, guaranteeing it was a non-alcoholic beverage and they'd enjoy it. Then, after that kiss, Lucy's eyes blazed green and we were surrounded by emerald radiance before her eyes went back to normal (normal for her) again. I then felt the sudden perverse but arousing desire to have sex with Lucy, and before I knew it she and I were having sex on a nearby table, our clothes on the floor beneath it. When we were finished, we got dressed and Emily said we were behaving in a very horrible, horrible way by acting like we did and doing as we had. Lucy said Emily was just jealous is all, and she told me to pay Emily no mind and not to worry about her jealous words. Emily walked off, clearly upset, and said that Lucy was evil, that she was the Devil, and that I was being led far astray. I only saw two little girls who were arguing over me, with Emily seeming to dislike Lucy tremendously. Finally, Lucy said to me: “So, you want to go back to your body again, huh? I want to go back to my body too. But Emily and Lila are holding things up by not making up their minds.” and I asked her to tell me what Emily and Lila had to do with me being able to return to my body again, and what body it was Lucy wanted to return to exactly. But then, Lucy said to me: “I'll tell ya later, babe! For now, I've got something I need to deal with.” and something about the way she said that was exactly like Chloe's usual speech patterns and style of speaking. Lucy snapped her fingers, a door-like blue portal appeared, and she walked through it. I was left alone with Lila while Emily still had not come back from where it was she'd scurried off to in such a rush. I said to Lila: “So, what now?” and she said: “I don't know, this isn't how it was all supposed to go. I guess we need to find someone older than Lucy who might know a way for you to get back to your body again.” and I asked who was older than such a powerful being, aside from perhaps Allah or the Divine Force itself. Lila told me that Al-Lat was simply a form of the great Allah that the almighty had discarded from out of its' own being long ago, and which ultimately rebelled against the Divine Force and was given its' own domain to preside over. This domain is called Gehenna, and it is a plane of eternal existence that is as far beyond Earth but in reverse as the heavenly paradise of Allah is beyond Earth in the opposite direction. It is a kind of final, ultimate version of Hell from which typically there is, for many irredeemable souls, no returning from. “But... not all who come to Gehenna, are slated to know pain, and suffering. Some... come to be transformed, purified, and those are always allowed to return. For this place is only eternal for those who either desire to remain here of their own accord or who are too wicked to ever be allowed to return, unless they choose to be redeemed and purified, which such evil folk never choose to have happen to them. Because that path is the most painful and difficult of all, but the one most worth it for sinners to choose in the end.” That was what Lila told me, and I understood all of what the eight year old girl said with perfect clarity. I said to her: “I supposed we could ask around to see who could help us.” and then a eunuch named Virgil walked up to us and motioned for us to come sit at his table, which we did. He was very effeminate looking, had a fully head of curly black hair and gentle brown eyes, and he was wearing black rave pains with green trim and a black midriff baring top also with green trim. He was androgynous and spoke softly, telling us he was a eunuch by choice, not out of someone else making the decision and he told us he last was alive in ancient Rome, but that he no longer remembered the year, day, or circumstances of his death. She said to Lila: “The only being older than Lucy would be Death. Since Death came into being before Al-Lat was cast off from Allah. You know Death by her proper name, though. Lilith.” and I said that I was indeed familiar with Lilith and I asked Virgil how we could meet with her. He said: “She can't be summoned through normal means. Only death can bring Death to you. Lila said: “But we can't just kill someone in a place where everybody is already dead.” and then Virgil explained: “Not everybody here is dead! Some are here in astral bodies still tethered to their still living mortal shells. If you were to kill one of them, in their astral body, they would die in the living realm as well. Death would come here to take them, and you could meet with her. But doing that would damn you worse than you likely already are, given that you're here and not in some heavenly paradise. And I wouldn't risk that at all, myself.” Lila said: “Ill do it! I'm damned anyway, whatever I may do. I might as well have my afterlife matter.”
Lila then was told by Virgil: “Wait a minute little girl! You drank some of Lucy's astral blood in that juice box. Emily did too, didn't she? You two have forty eight hours before one of you is turned into a copy of Lucy herself. She did that so that she can return to her body back on Earth and still have a copy of herself here in order to prevent a reality-rending paradox. Emily's decided she isn't going to go for it, that she just wants to remain herself, so she's rejected Lucy's blood and already thrown it up. But Lila, that means you have to be the one to choose willingly to become a copy of Lucy. It doesn't honestly get more damned than that, darling.” I said: “Slow down, slow down, Virgil. You're basically saying that Lila is not going to be Lila anymore, come tomorrow?” and he nodded and said: “Yeah, kind of. She'll be Lila, but she'll be Lucy too. Mostly Lucy, with Lila pushed to the back of herself, so to speak.” and all of a sudden Lila's hair turned golden blonde and her eyes turned emerald green, and her body then became an exact copy of Lucy's, right down to her now being thirteen, busty and curvy like Lucy. Lila saw her reflection in a mirror and screaming in horror, saying: “I'm becoming her! I'm turning into the Devil.” because essentially in this place everyone considered Lucy to be basically the Devil I had long since come to realize. Then Lila said: “Come on, let's ask around and see if we can find someone who is alive in this place. We need to get you back to your body, before you end up stuck here too.” she said to me. We spent twenty four hours in that place searching, so in all Lila wasted half of her allotted time trying to help me get back to my body. We could find no one who was there while still living, and then I had an idea. I said to Lila: “Lila, since you look and sound exactly like Lucy now, why not go up to the microphone, pretend to be her, and ask if anybody here tonight is a living soul rather than a dead one?” and indeed her voice had changed so much that she could pass as the original Lucy. She did as I suggested and said, with conviction: “Hey there, my fellow fuck-ups and freaks! Who's here from the land of the living tonight? I know all you dead folks, but I wanna hear from the fleshy folk right now!” And a little boy with dark hair and bright blue eyes who looked malnourished and depressed said: “I am, Lucy! I used a Ouija board to try and talk to you, but I ended up falling asleep and woke up here. This is such a weird dream!” and Lila, still pretending to be Lucy said to the little boy: “Hey, congrats for finding your way here through your dreams! Why not come to that back table over there with me?” and I knew she was planning to murder the boy. I felt nausea within me at the thought, but I knew it was honestly the only way to bring Death to a deathless place. I watched from a distance away while Lila took the boy to the back table and there she took out a knife from her dress pocket and cut his throat with it. She then called me over to the table and said to me: “Somewhere in the world tonight, this little boy died in his sleep. It's my fault, and I'm sorry, but I had to do it. I had to!” and the there was darkness all around us, and walking toward us was an imposing woman with chalk white skin and long black hair with blood red highlights and a single white streak through it. She had black eyes with no whites in those eyes at all, and she wore a black gown and a black hooded cloak. I recognized her as Lilith. Death. Lila screamed at the sight of her saying: “It's the Grim Reaper!” but Death held no scythe in her hands, only a black rose that she discarded unto the floor. She took the little boy and opened a red portal that she took him through. She then returned, and said to Lila: “You know that what you did has damned you, you took an innocent life, he had committed no sin and had merely been curious, his life at home had been a tragic tale of abuse and malnourished misery. Perhaps it was a kindness, after all, though! He'd have died soon in any case.” Lila said: “I'm damned no matter what. You see what I am becoming, who I'm becoming. It's too late for me, I'll spend the rest of my eternity trapped in this altered body, fighting to stay me while Lucy overtakes me and I lose myself in becoming her. Or, an exact copy of her actually.” Lilith... Death... smiled knowingly, her face pained like the Santa Muerte. She then told Lila to hurry along, and Lila skipped off playfully to savor her last moments of childlike innocence before becoming a new manifestation of an ancient being that, while childlike, was certainly no child in truth. Lilith turned to me and said: “Many hours have passed in this realm, but back upon Earth you have ceased breathing for a total of only two minutes. In two more, four will have passed... and you will die. Unless I return you to your body, where you belong. But first, is unfinished business.”
I asked her what business she meant, and she said: “Chloe will be returning shortly, but later than you and Kara who lies within you. I will allow you to return... but only if you pledge to serve Lucy from the present day forward, as you did in ancient times that you may or may not remember. Otherwise, you'll need to remain here, and you will become one of her subjects anyway. Such is your ultimate destiny.” I said to her: “So I am damned after all then, no matter what I choose.” and she said: “Damnation is not always about suffering, child! And not all dark things are evil. You are of the darkness, and no god or goddess on high, nor any angel or messenger of the Divine Force could ever change your nature to that of a being of light, when it is the darkness that you most embody and always have. I speak to you, Paul and you also Kara, at the same time when I say that. You are children of Lucy, like it or not, and to her side you will always return, as it was fated to be.” I said to her then, tears in my eyes as I realized she was right and I had been a fool to not have seen the truth sooner: “Very well! Send me back, let my bargain with Lucy be sealed with that choice.” and Death wrapped her cold arms around me and said unto me: “The pact is sealed! Now return to your body, and wait for Chloe to likewise return. She will be able to, now that Lila has taken her place.” and I realized the terrifying truth I had never understood before... that Chloe was Lucy, Al-Lat herself. As Paul I understood that my twin sister was this ancient being and that though she thinks and behaves childlike when she is in control of our shared body, she is something both dark and immensely powerful. I had a newfound respect for her, and I knew that when she came back to our shared body she would remember all of this experience from her perspective, and it would be very different from my own. Kara, our guardian angel, made me see that this was true. In the next instant, Death opened a red portal once again and pushed me through it, and I awoke on the bed in my room with blood on my mouth. I was Paul, primarily, and Kara was back in the body that we share as well, but not the dominant one. I tried to process all I had learned and I realized I could not in good faith worship Allah any longer. I was in service to another now, my religion had become at last a dark shadowy reflection of Islam rather than the pure form. Some might say I am evil, that I am in truth damned, my soul sold to a hellish being of darkness who would have been born as my twin sister had things happened different regarding my birth. But she was Chloe now, Lucy was. Just Chloe, not Lucy and not Al-Lat. And yet, she was both of those things and so much more. I wondered what it was to be like when she returned to my body shortly. And what it was that was keeping her. I waited, accepting at last that this was my true calling after all, a calling of darkness rather than light. I must now embrace it.
2. Chloe's (Lucy's) remembrance of her neat-death experience, upon her return:
So I came back after all, silly little me! I'm alive again, in my body with Paul and Kara pushed back to the place inside where they retreat to when I take control of our shared body. Yeah, that was weird! It was just like what Paul wrote down today about it, what I allowed him to write down, only for me it all was different. Paul and Kara were gone when I first noticed I was outside of our shared body, and for me it was Lila who came to me outside the house, not Emily who was off with Paul and Kara. I was a little girl in my astral body, maybe no older than eight years old. I was wearing a white dress, and I had shoulder-length black hair in a pretty bob style with neatly trimmed bangs. I looked adorable! I had the brightest hazel eyes, not the blue eyes of the body I share with Paul and Kara. I looked exactly like all those AI-generated photos I made to represent myself online. I felt complete, happy, being in an astral body that was finally fully me, and not them. Lila took me places, showed me things. I saw people and their sins, saw their ultimate punishments in the hereafter, in the hell that awaits really bad people from both this town we live in, and from the neighboring city of Clinton. Yeah, I saw so much, and lots of it was brutal, bloody, terrible horror movie-like stuff. Lives, deaths, cruel deeds and horrific fates. All of it to show me that there was justice in the universe and punishment for every crime both big and little. I was taken to a mansion in Salem, Massachusetts, where I saw Emily and Paul painting together in one of the rooms. I was shown Emily's “cheerleader collection” she keeps in her basement in her mansion between life and death, in that domain some call Purgatory. The cheerleaders had become vampires all.
I watched Paul open a weird box after him and Emily went downstairs to see the cheerleaders, and I was shocked to noticed that he and Emily couldn't see either me or Lila. Which kind of freaked me out big time. I wasn't worried about Kara, who I was told by Lila was inside of Paul's astral body. But Paul was beginning to scare me, he seemed to be becoming changed by these experiences in some deep way. He who would have been my twin brother had we been born separately as it should have been. Rather than ending up forced to share a body between us and Kara. There are other souls in this body also, just three others but that makes for six souls in all. Ironic, that the number is six. The Devil's number. Yeah, a lot of truths were starting to dawn on me, I felt changed myself from the things I was understanding as my time outside our shared body continued on. When he opened the weird box, Paul was taken by darkness and shadow and demons came to wrap chains around him and make him relive the worst of all his life's various pains, and those pains were many. Kara suffered along with Paul, they suffered in that way together, before it was stopped and a demon led Paul and Emily away. Lila and I didn't follow, but instead a tall lady demon who looked like a pale lady with a shaved head and no eyebrows, dressed in a long flowing black gown with all kinds of piercings all over her face and body... and totally blood red eyes with no whites in them at all... led me and Lila to a place she called “The Maze”. A huge hedge maze that was also a really super pretty garden but with massive sharp thorns. We went through it, got cut up a lot, and ended up all bloody when we finally got to a big Amphitheater where some skinless people were hanging out, one of whom unlocked a metal gate for me and Lila. The demon lady went away, and the skinless woman led us through the long metal tunnel behind the gates. I say gates since there turned out to be more than one. Anyway, the tunnel led off into darkness and had sharp objects and nasty things and weird monsters made of shadow that were trying to grab and claw at us. We had to follow the skinless woman and walk single file so as not to get hurt or carried off by the monsters. She skinless woman told us not to look in any of the alcoves or down any of the side corridors off of the main tunnel, and I was a good little girl and did just like she told me to. Same with Lila. We got to a big modern city with neon lights and it looked so cool! Like a science fiction city of the future. The lady with no skin took us to a night club called “The Ninth Circle” and she said Paul had gone there with Emily already and that they were waiting for us inside. I was told to go in through the back door while Lila went in through the front. She said she'd meet up with me later. So, I did like she said and as soon as I entered the back door I was in a bright room with curtains made of light, and I drink some red juice and my body changed. I became thirteen years old, curvy, with big boobs and a big butt, and I had emerald green eyes with no whites in them and long curly golden blond hair down to my lower back. I was wearing a red romper that look like it was white once but stained red. And I had red nail polish on my fingers, red streaks in my hair, and I was wearing blood red lipstick too. Blood red seemed to be my color of choice, and I have to admit I do kinda love that color, it's just so super goth and awesome. So yeah, I put on a pair of these calf-high boots that kinda looked like hooker boots only they were flat. I thought they were cool, and they looked good with the romper. Everything looked like a dressing room for a theater, and when I parted the curtain that the room had instead of a door I was on a stage in front of an audience and a band was playing. I was announced as: “The Unholy Lolita herself! You all know and love her as simply Lucy from downtown. Yes, that very Lucy! Lucifera. The glorious goddess of darkness, better known in the more traditional circles as Al-Lat! Give it up, ladies of the evening and not so gentle gentlemen!” After which I said something I knew I was supposed to say, but I don't know why or how I knew I was supposed to say it. I said: “Welcome, welcome to my club tonight! Ladies of the evening, not so gentle gentlemen, friends and fiends, demons and devils, ghosts and ghouls, you are so so very welcome here, as always.” I then pointed out different people I suddenly realized that I knew here and there, and I said to them that I was super extra thankful and happy for different things they did in my name when they were alive. I won't get into the things they did, it was all really bad, bad things, but for some reason in this weird place I was happy about it and grateful for it. I felt powerful, like a kind of celebrity, and I was taking in all these peoples' love and devotion toward me and it felt great.
And, then everybody was clapping after that and I was singing and dancing and putting on a show while the band was playing. I even did a silly comedy routine and finished with a big pop singer style performance that finished off the show with tons of applause and cheering from the audience. I let out a shrieking scream just for the fun of it and I walked over to a table where Paul and Emily were hanging out. Lila was nearby too, I noticed. Paul asked me where Chloe was and since I'm Chloe I said to him: “She's right here!” and I gestured to myself, but he didn't get what I was trying to tell him and she said he didn't see Chloe there at all, and he only called me Lucy. I told him he could see me just find but that he just didn't realize he was looking at me. Then something crazy got into me and I forced a big slopped wet kiss on Paul, and just before that I handed a couple of juice boxes to Emily and Lila that were full of something I knew was called “blood wine” which had my own blood in it. I told them it was cool with them being kids to drink it since it was non-alcoholic anyway. I said they'd enjoy it. It tasted kind of super fruity with a slight coppery taste besides, and they seemed to enjoy it, they drank it all up. After I kisses Paul he just went crazy, pulled my romper off of me, and I just went along with it and before I knew it we were having sex like two wild beasts. I just laid on a table, my legs spread, while he was hopping my pussy and shoving his dick in and out of me like there was no tomorrow. It felt good to actually have a pussy in this body, and I was relishing using it. He came in me big time, and I grabbed a towel and poured water from a pitcher on it and cleaned myself up before putting my clothes back on. Paul put the silly clown costume was had been wearing back on, and Emily called me a pig and said I was acting like a “degenerate slut” as she called me. I told Paul not to pay attention to anything she said, and then Emily walked off in a huff, her face beat red with anger. She called me the Devil, and I called her a jealous little bitch. She tried to convince Paul I was leading him astray, but I set him straight and after Emily left for good this time... in quite a hurry... I realized there was a very super important thing I totally had to see to. But first I said to Paul: “So, you want to go back to your body again, huh? I want to go back to my body too. But Emily and Lila are holding things up by not making up their minds.” and I knew what that meant, as if I'd always known about these kinds of weird occult things. Paul wanted to know what those two kids had to do with anything and I just said to him that I'd see him later, and that I needed to deal with something first. I then snapped my fingers, and a door-like blue portal appeared. I walked through it and it closed behind me. After that, I was in a place where Lilith was hanging out. It was a dark, shadowy place between life and death, and as you may or may not know Lilith is the embodiment and manifestation of death, Better known as Death! So yeah, the place was creepy, spooky, dark and not exactly life-affirming to hang around in. Death said to me that I could only go back to my body again if either Emily or Lila decided to stay in Hell and take my place there, becoming a new version of me. Otherwise, she said, there would be a paradox so severe that it could rend reality or do something crazy bad that could be disastrous for the whole universe and maybe the multiverse too. She then told me that Emily forced herself to puke up the juice I gave her out of spite, and that without my blood in her she couldn't become a new me. So Emily was no longer one of the candidates. That only left Lila, and honestly I liked her a whole lot better anyway. She and I do have a whole lot in common! I leave it up to your imagination, dear reader, to discern what I mean by that. But yeah, time was ticking it felt like a good twenty four hours was flying by. Death was getting all anxious to do something, and me I just wanted to head back to the nightclub, belt out some songs and bang my head and rock out. But Lilith, she's all business and she said I had to wait in that dark in between place with her a while. In the meantime, Paul and Lila were up to something or another and Death told me that Lila finally got to the point where she was cool with becoming a new version of me so she could stay in Hell while I could be free to go back to Earth, to that body I'm stuck sharing with Paul, Kara, and the three others inside of there. Speaking of which, I'm always going to be curious as to what the heck they were getting up to in their respective afterlife experiences. But that's not any of my business! Lilith hurried me back through one of her fancy red portals, and it took me to various places where I had to do all kinds of things before it was time for me to be pulled back into the waiting body.
Paul already wrote what he and Lila did around that time after I was no longer in Death's domain. I was off on my own crazy odyssey to get back to our body by that point. I am so not going to tell you all the places I went, all the things I did, most of it was so much I could write volumes about it but won't. Time means nothing in Gehenna, nothing whatsoever. Except when there's a deadline that has to be in the end met. And this time, there had been a deadline and Lila did the right thing and met it. Even if I got the impression she'd really fucked up her karma for good in the process. Like I'm one to talk about being a karmic fuck-up! But seriously, I wasn't really keen on coming back but if I didn't then Lila was going to get stuck in the shared body in my place and that would've been awkward for everybody. Most especially Zoey! When she got home from work, she wouldn't want to have to deal with a stranger in place of good old familiar Chloe. So, I came back in the end and was able to add my experience in the hereafter to this document. I think Paul's finally heel turned to darkness at this point, but honestly I'd have been surprised if he hadn't turned dark after all that. But he always hides in the back while either me or Kara take charge most days, so I doubt Paul will be much of a problem anymore than he usually is. I'm sure if we'd have been born separate twins, we'd have been crazy incest with each other. What we did together in Gehenna convinced me of that. But now, it's back to awkwardly sharing an intersex body while trying to figure out who gets to be in charge during what situations. I didn't get back into the body until a lot later, since all those things I mentioned that I did after going through the red portal seriously delayed me. But I'm here today, writing this, and really missing how much hotter I looked in Gehenna. Given Gehenna is basically like Hell on steroids, me looking hotter there is definitely a fine situation of pun intended. So there you have it, that's what happened last night. It is currently the date of 11/21/2024 and it is exactly 5:42 PM, that means in the afternoon for all you sillies out there who may or may not know what. And who doesn't? But yeah, it was a lot to go through. I see myself a lot different now, and I don't know if Paul or Kara have put two and two together yet and finally realized who I am or not. But when they do, it's going to blow their crazy little minds! See, we don't just have our own separate souls, we have our own minds too, our own memories, our own identities. And when I'm in charge, I have no idea what Kara or Paul or any of the others are thinking or feeling, or what they know or remember. We're all different people who just happen to be stuck in one physical body. Which sucks, but we deal with it because what else can you do in a situation like that! Got to make the best of it. Only very rarely can we share things with reach other inside. Only very, very rarely. And in this case, that's not happening. I did read what Paul wrote here of course. I had to! He needed to share his experience, and I needed to share mine. I suppose each gives context and meaning to the other, as is only right given we're twins. Paul was difficult last night, Zoey told me. Zoey was a lot happier when I pushed Paul to the back and came to the fore as the dominant soul in this body. Somehow, me being so childlike always brings out Zoey's desire to be protective towards me, and parental, which feels good. It feels good to be loved, to be cared for, and cherished by someone as nice as Zoey is. Last night, it has totally changed everything, for all of us. Paul's and Kara's shared faith has been altered permanently, and me... I'm a fallen child goddess of the damned, stuck sharing a body with five other souls, making a perfect six. My number! I feel the power inside me still, but I won't use it for evil. I may be dark, but I am not evil. Paul is the one who is evil. Sexy, but evil. I will continue to keep him at bay, keep him as deeply buried within me as possible. I will still let Kara come forward when Kara wishes to, but not Paul I think. I hope that Lila is doing well, adjusting to her new rule as regent of Gehenna in my stead. Most folks there won't even know the difference between her and I. And reality is just as it's always been. The word is just as shitty and miserable as we left it. With the state of things today, the last thing anybody needs is a reality-rending catastrophe of beyond Biblical proportions. We've preserved the order of the multiverse, for the time being. Now it is time for me to finish this written work and be back to the daily routine of my life, such as it is, in this lousy little backward town. Someday though, we're going to move to a better place, but in the meantime I might as well make the best of things. I'd say you only live once... but in our cases that's totally not true. I've seen way too much proof for the contrary!
Concerning a Near-Death Experience I had on 11/20/2024 sometime just after supper.
Last night, I had a very frightening near-death experience that changed my entire life, my perceptions of living... and my understanding of both the hereafter and the nature of the three souls within me that comprise who I am, as well as what that means for me. I was upset around suppertime, the reason why is unimportant, but suffice it to say that two of the three souls inside of me... Kara and Paul... were in a very angry and at the same time depressed state of mind. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, as I always do after every meal or snack, and all of a sudden I felt dizzy, nauseous, and started to hear this very loud ringing in my ears, and I had the sensation of feeling as if I was losing all my worldly senses. I spat up a bit of blood into the sink, then realized I was about to faint. So I rushed into the bedroom, I was nervous, worried, scared, and nearly out of my mind with fear as I laid down on the bed. Not long after that, everything went black, as if the lights of life has been turned off and all I knew was darkness.
1. Paul and Kara's Near-Death Experience, written from their perspectives:
I was Paul, mostly, with the soul and spirit of Kara piggybacking within me so to speak, it was a very difficult thing to tray and describe. I was me... myself... but with Kara inside of me as well. I realized in that instant I was the male twin, Paul, who was supposed to have been born had the two fetus not fully combined in our mother's womb, resulting in the body being born as a single intersex individual, rather than the boy and the girl twins the ultrasound had originally shown. But the souls and spirits of the two twins have always still been within my hermaphrodite body, as I have written of before. Kara is a third soul, a third spirit who was assigned to be our guardian angel but who became trapped in our flesh with us. And in my afterlife that I was experiencing, Kara remained trapped my my soul's astral form. Chloe was nowhere to be seen... she being the other soul that shares our body normally, that of my twin sister. I wondered if she did perhaps move on to a totally different sort of afterlife, for I knew suddenly that I was dead as I gazed upon my body laying upon the bed, but was unable to touch it or return to it. All of a sudden, I was outside of the house... standing in the street as cars were going by. The cars passed on through me as if I was not even there. I looked up at the house, saw the light on in my room, and I do not know how I got to be outside of the house at all. Suddenly, a little girl was standing at my side, she looked about ten years old and she said her name was Emily. She was wearing a black dress with white diamond patterns on it, like a harlequin design, and her face was painted with goth style makeup. She had black hair with blonde roots which was done up in a high ponytail, and she had icy blue eyes. Not a thing about her frightened me, but she looked and acted in a way that some might consider to be just a bit creepy. Her voice was playful, as she told me that I was dead and she asked me to look upon my own reflection when next a car passed by. It was cold out, rainy and snowy and windy and miserable. But I could see myself clearly reflected in the window of one of the passing cars. I looked as I normally do, except that I was dressed in a clown costume that had a black and white harlequin design upon it, with baggy legs and billowy puffy sleeves. My face had no makeup on it, it was just... my face... but I was dressed in this peculiar attire that I most certainly was not wearing anything even close to when I was in my living body. Emily told me she needed to show me various things in both the small town of Dewitt, Iowa where I have been living and where I apparently died, and also in the not far off city of Clinton, Iowa. So she took me first to a church on the far side of town, one that was the same church as my partner Zoey's family attends. It was a much smaller church than theirs. The little girl, Emily, then took me to a house behind the church where the pastor of the church lived. I saw him asleep inside of the house, and she told me that he was damned and that when he dies he is going to Hell to suffer for his sins. I asked her what his sins were and she told me that he had raped and molested a little boy from his congregation. But that wasn't his sin; he sin was doing so while claiming to serve God, which is the ultimate blasphemy... claiming to serve God while using such a cover to commit acts such as that sort.
Emily then took me to a Catholic church in Clinton, and there she showed me a catholic priest who was likewise asleep in his living space. And the little girl told me of all the children... boys all... whom the priest had molested. She listed their names, but I cannot remember them now, and she said that this man, just like the pastor I had seen earlier, was guilty of the same sin but multiplied by the much bigger number of his victims. I asked her why she was showing me these things, and she said to me: “I show you these things so you will know and understand that there is justice in the universe, and beyond it.” I asked her what she meant by justice, and she showed me what awaits those two false servants of God in the hereafter. I saw a room not unlike a surgical space for performing operations. Strapped to tables in the middle of the room were the pastor and the priest. Four doctors came into the room, surgeons, but their faces were demonic and painted like clowns. They heated up two irons in ironing boards and then they surgically cut off both damned men's testicles which they put in a garbage disposal in a sink near the operating tables, and they turned the disposal unit on, shredding the testicles to bits and filling the sink with blood. Then they used the hot irons to cauterize the wounds before cutting off the two men's penis and slicing them like slices of carrots. They then force fed the pieces of flesh and meat to those two men, who choked upon the pieces but did not die. Emily told me this was done to them because of all the times they forced their penises into the mouths of their little boy victims unwillingly. Then, the demonic surgeons cut the damned men's faces into Glasgow grins and proceeded to slit their throats. The two evil men did not die, however, because this was Hell and their punishments had only begun.
Then, Emily took me back to Clinton and we were outside of a laundromat where two teenagers were hanging out, a teenage boy and a teenage girl who both looked rather average and normal. They looked like they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Emily said to me that the boy was damned because he had raped his girlfriend's best friend, which traumatized the victim. And that his girlfriend only was staying with him out of fear of what he could or might do to her as well. Emily then told me that the girlfriend was likewise damned because in anger over her best friend's rape she had taken her frustrations out on her little sister and she beat the poor girl, who ended up hospitalized because of it. Emily told me the two of them were slated for horrific punishments in the hereafter because they were both unrepentant of their wrongdoings and likely to never repent of them. I said to Emily: “But they're both young, do they not have their whole lives to repent?” and then the little girl showed me a vision in which the boy was in a motorcycle accident where he was impaled on a piece of metal and died while still a teenager. Then I saw a vision of his girlfriend laying dead in an alleyway someplace, apparently murdered in a horrific manner. Emily said to me: “For some, life is shorter than they realize. Youth is not a guarantee of a long life, nor a happy one in the end.” And I nodded my head in understanding. I asked her why it was she showed me that, and she said unto me: “So that you will know there is justice in this universe.”
Next, Emily took me to an old abandoned house where a little girl whose name Emily said was Lila... was hiding out, shivering, after she had been sitting next to a statue in one of the main streets of the city until at last she could take the cold no longer. The girl wore all black, looked much like she was trying to be a Wednesday Addams type, and she had black hair and brown eyes as well as pale skin. I asked Emily why this child was in such a terrible state so as to be hiding out or shivering in the streets, and I saw visions of what Lila had done to end up like that. Lila was probably only about eight years old, to be accurate about her age, and when she was six her father had raped her, which drove her to take out her rage and pain on her pet kitten, which she cut to pieces with a carving knife from the kitchen. The little girl, Lila, then fantasized about dissecting her brother after she read a book on anatomy while at school, which she took out from the school library. She never acted on it, however. Until one day, she believed she had stabbed her brother and slit her mother's throat, placing the knife in her father's hand so he would be blamed for their deaths and punished at last. Thinking she had done these deeds, but in reality under a self-induced delusion caused by her psychotic fantasies cased by her growing trauma...
Lila finally ran away from home, and Emily told me she perished somewhere far away in the end and that her body was never found, nor did her parents even bother to report their daughter as missing. The events I saw were all in the past, for Lila... Emily told me... was long dead. I asked her why she felt the need to show me and tell me of Lila, and she said it was because Chloe was with Lila in her own part of the afterlife and that Lila had become the same kind of guide that Emily was. Emily then took me to a mansion somewhere in Salem, Massachusetts and I could not be certain if the place existed in the realm of the living or if it existed only in the realm of the afterlife. But in the mansion I saw a table at which a great Thanksgiving feast was laid out, and I remembered that it was soon to be Thanksgiving this very month. But the mansion was vacant and empty. Emily took me to an art room full of various paintings, some of them unfinished, and she and I took brushes to blank canvases and began to paint. I helped the little girl to finish existing painting she had started, and she helped me to finish ones she said I had in fact started during trips to this section of the afterlife that I had before and did not remember. We spent some long hours, or so it seemed, painting thus and I asked Emily why she was so intent on spending all this time with me, and she said it was because even though I might not remember her now, I had a profound impact on her when she was alive, an impact so great she said that it made her the girl that she was now. She then asked me to follow her into the basement of the mansion and there I saw a group of cheerleaders, all of them with pale faces and mouths full of fangs, their eyes vacant and all of them no older than fifteen, with fifteen being the age of what seemed to be the oldest girl. They asked Emily if she wished to stay and play with them, and Emily said that we were only there to visit, but not to stay or indulge. Then Emily told me the girls had become vampire spirits after their deaths, feeding on the life essence of people in their dreams, but replacing the stolen essence with some of their own. They were now negative beings, who often when no victims could be gotten fed upon one another in a bizarre, unholy kind of sisterhood. I asked her why they lived in the basement, and Emily said: “We've tried to give them their own rooms, but they insist on living down here, saying they like the darkness.” and then Emily sighed, tears in her eyes, as she led me back to the dining room with the table and all the food upon it. A fireplace was nearby, it's fire crackling and it felt very warm to be next to it after all that journeying in the cold to get to this place. I asked Emily if I could return to my body soon, and she said to me: “We need to go to Hell first in order to ask permission of the one you serve, the one whom you made a bargain with long ago.” I said that serve only the Divine Force and Allah, and she said to me that even so... the old bargain needed to be honored, the old debt needed to be paid. She then did take me into the mansion's library which contained every imaginable book on the subjects of satanism, witchcraft, necromancy, demon and spirit summoning, blood sacrifices, ritualistic rape, tantric sex, and countless dark, in some cases twisted, occult rituals, practices, spells and rites. It was like a dark kind of reflection of a great library of all human knowledge. Only in this case it was dark knowledge, of the most forbidden sorts. I understood everything in these books, knowing that my own studies in all of the dark realms of human knowledge had enabled me to comprehend the books' contents without losing my sanity in the doing. Although Emily told me that I only was able to do so because I was already mad. She in the end decided it was pointless to pursue these books, and she took me back to the dining room where a servant girl brought in a metal box with strange designs upon its' surface. Emily told me to touch the box and concentrate on my heart's desire, which she said would call to the beings who could take me to Hell. I asked her if she was coming with me and she said: “I am, but only you can touch the box, only you can bear the pain of its' contents. It would destroy me.” and I opened the box after sitting on the floor in front of it, like a child opening a Christmas present but anxious as to its' contents. There was a bright light, but not blinding, emerging from the box and I opened it, and the box itself had inside of it nothing at all. Suddenly, however, I was surrounded by darkness all around and all about me and there were dark beings in that darkness wearing black gowns and black hooded cloaks. They were all tall and pale, and some had strange tattoos and piercings, and there were male and female of their kind but what they were I had no name to give. They were demons, of a sort, and that was all I understood.
Suddenly, chains were cast upon me, constricting my astral body, and I was reliving every single time and moment in my life in which I ever felt pain of any kind. Physical, metal, emotional, even sexual. I cannot describe the sensation of so much different varieties of pain. It was no longer torture after a bit, it became almost a twisted kind of ecstasy of sorts. If I was not mad already... I would have been, after that. Emily screamed that this was enough, and one of the tall demons removed the chains from me. I was able to stand up after that, but my limbs felt stretched and pained. But I was unchanged other than the pain in all my limbs. The demon who removed my chains told me to follow him to the entrance to Hell proper, and that this time... unlike during other such experiences I had in the past... we had to go through a place he called “The Maze”. He took Emily and I to a massive hedge maze filled with razor sharp thorns and beautiful flowers and plants of every imaginable variety. I have seen seen such lovely colors or perfect blossoms or smelled such beautiful scents as this garden contained. For the Maze was a garden as well as a hedge maze. The demon left us there, and Emil and I walked through the maze. As we did, however, it became impossible after a while to not be cut, scratched or sliced by the thorns. When we finally, seemingly hours later, emerged from the hedge maze we were both covered in our own blood. The blood of our astral bodies, which was red like that of our physical forms. We arrived at a circular marble amphitheater of the ancient Greek style, and before us was a metal tunnel that led off into pure darkness. The tunnel had sealing it off from our access a metal double gate that looked very modern, as did the tunnel itself, with flashing indicator lights and various mechanisms that we heard making noises within the gates. Suddenly, Emily said to me that I needed to face my greatest fear for the gates to be open for us. And out of the shadows of the amphitheater's columns came a woman who had no skin upon her, only bloody muscle tissue. I asked her who she was and she said: “I am no one.” but when she spoke it was with my own voice only a little bit more feminine than my usual tone. I felt as if I was going to faint again. I had an out of body experience once, way back when I still lived in the city of Easthampton, Massachusetts many years ago... after I fainted one night... in which I saw this exact same woman, this peculiar skinless version of myself. I remember Zoey asking me all about it after I came to, and me telling her all about the horrific vision. I remembered that moment with Zoey now, that night when I had fainted, the ghastly vision my eyes beheld. And here that vision was again, to confront me. I asked her again: “Who are you?” and her answer was the same: “I am no one!” and she told me to follow her. I felt fear the likes of which I have never known before, and she opened the metal, mechanical gates for Emily and I to pass through. She led us down the metal corridor beyond, and out of the walls of the corridor emerged every imaginable type of sharp instrument. Blades, saws, scissors, and more. We had to walk single file to avoid being cut to pieces as these objects, along with shadowy demonic beings, tried to slash at us and grab at us, and attempt to snatch us away. But with the skinless woman leading us forward, reminding us to stay in single file, we stayed safe and sound. The woman said to us as well: “Do not look in the alcoves on this tunnel, nor down the corridors that branch off from it on the dies, if you value your sanity.” I looked, however, and I witnessed every sort of imaginable torture, torment, and suffering known to humanity. And some the likes of which no mind could imagine, envision, or invent. A good number of it was self-inflicted, but much of it was overseen or conducted by demons and terrible lizard-like creatures with sharp fangs and sharp claws. If this was Hell, I saw no fire... nor ice... to torment people. Some of it was even psychological tortures, and those perhaps were the cruelest of all, each tailored to the personal and unique cases of those being tortured. I said to Emily: “I looked! And I feel no different than I was before. Does that mean I am mad?” and she then said unto me: “Yes! Only the mad could look upon such things and be unchanged by it.” And she was right, I was unchanged. At the end of the tunnel, we emerged into a vast modern looking city very similar to something like Tokyo for instance with neon lights and cars and electricity of course and all modern things and modern conveniences, and it looked almost like a cyberpunk dystopian future but I was assured by Emily that we were very much in a city at the deepest level of Hell itself. A city that she said she dared not name. It was a beautiful place, however, and I felt no sense of dream within it.
There were clouds in the sky and it was nighttime. There were only two times of day there... eternal afternoon and eternal night, with a span of day and morning lasting so short as to be in all practicality nonexistent. “This is not the part of Hell where people are brought to suffer.” Emily told me, and that made me feel a sense of relief, that I was here and thus not slated for further suffering. The skinless woman took us to just outside of a nightclub called “The Ninth Circle” which had a fire and ice motif to its' exterior. She told us to go within, and then she walked away to join the crowds of people walking along the streets of the city. I asked Emily who awaited us within and she said : “She whom you are so bound in service to, no matter what God or Goddess you serve.” And in my heart, I knew whom it was she meant. The ancient goddess Al-Lat, whom in this place was a dark shadow of Allah, a mirror of the Divine Force's most profound manifestation. I was expecting many things, all of them terrible, but what I found within that nightclub was the last sort of thing I would have expected. People here had granted to Al-Lat the ancient title of Lucifera, and everyone called her “Lucy” for short, almost as one might so grant a nickname to someone near and dear to them. People in this city loved her, evidently, and it did seem unto me that she was good to her subjects, for she was the absolute ruler of this place. It was she, as I said, whom we were to meet within. Inside, it was like a modern rave club, in keeping with all that we had seen of the city outside. People of every race, color, and creed danced and mingled in the club, partying and drinking, and enjoying themselves. Many wore rave attire, and had hair in punk styles. I was shocked to see such a display, and found it almost comforting. In corners, people were engaged in every imaginable sort of decadent, depraved, sexual activity and neither age nor gender mattered. The children here was just as depraved as the adults, and in some cases little boys and girls initiated what transpired. Innocence and temptation were delighted to be indulged in, and playfully defiled... in this place of insatiable revelries. A curtain of light was behind the stage where a band was playing, and a microphone was in front and center upon that stage. “So, where is the person or being we're supposed to be meeting here?” I asked Emily and she said: “Lucy should be arriving here shortly.” and after a while, two delicate feminine hands parted the curtain of light and out from behind the curtain came a girl who was thirteen years old, very curvy with fine breasts and a very nice plump butt. She wore a blood red romper that looked like it had at one time been white but was stained red. She had blood red nail polish on her fingers, blood red lipstick on her full, pouting lips... and blood red streaks all through her golden blonde hair. She had eyes that looked totally emerald green, with no whites in them at all. She got up to the microphone and said: “Welcome, welcome to my club tonight! Ladies of the evening, not so gentle gentlemen, friends and fiends, demons and devils, ghosts and ghouls, you are so so very welcome here, as always.” She pointed out different people she knew here and there, and said to them that she was thankful for different things they did in her name when they were alive. Some had blown themselves up in her name, others had killed in her name, and many had taken their own lives in other ways in her name. And she had many names, countless names, and she listed them all until I couldn't recall them after some time of it. She said that they weren't here to suffer though, because they were all honest about their sins, and never once committed them in God's name. But they had suffered before being allowed into this club, they had paid for their sins whether great or small. They had earned this respite through blood, sweat, and bitter tears. Then, Lucy as everyone called this girl the most as they chanted her various names, began to sing and dance and perform on the stage. She did exotic dancing, then skipped about innocently before stopping to perform stand up comedy for a bit before ending her show with a big finish like a pop singer's concert. She then screamed playfully and got off the stage to walk over to Emily and I. Nearby was the girl Lila from when Emily has shown me her life and told me of her death before, and she was dressed in an outfit identical to Emily's but with reverse color scheme to it. And whereas Emily had black hair with blonde roots, Lila had blonde hair with black roots, and I realized their hair was dyed in both cases. I asked where Chloe was and Lucy said: “She's right here!” and she indicated herself, but I didn't understand her meaning so I said: “Lucy, I don't see here here at all.” and then Lucy replied: “Sure you do! You just don't realize it's her is all.” At the time, it was odd.
Then Lucy kissed me very, very suddenly, after giving a juice box full of blood red juice Lucy called “blood wine” to both Emily and Lila, guaranteeing it was a non-alcoholic beverage and they'd enjoy it. Then, after that kiss, Lucy's eyes blazed green and we were surrounded by emerald radiance before her eyes went back to normal (normal for her) again. I then felt the sudden perverse but arousing desire to have sex with Lucy, and before I knew it she and I were having sex on a nearby table, our clothes on the floor beneath it. When we were finished, we got dressed and Emily said we were behaving in a very horrible, horrible way by acting like we did and doing as we had. Lucy said Emily was just jealous is all, and she told me to pay Emily no mind and not to worry about her jealous words. Emily walked off, clearly upset, and said that Lucy was evil, that she was the Devil, and that I was being led far astray. I only saw two little girls who were arguing over me, with Emily seeming to dislike Lucy tremendously. Finally, Lucy said to me: “So, you want to go back to your body again, huh? I want to go back to my body too. But Emily and Lila are holding things up by not making up their minds.” and I asked her to tell me what Emily and Lila had to do with me being able to return to my body again, and what body it was Lucy wanted to return to exactly. But then, Lucy said to me: “I'll tell ya later, babe! For now, I've got something I need to deal with.” and something about the way she said that was exactly like Chloe's usual speech patterns and style of speaking. Lucy snapped her fingers, a door-like blue portal appeared, and she walked through it. I was left alone with Lila while Emily still had not come back from where it was she'd scurried off to in such a rush. I said to Lila: “So, what now?” and she said: “I don't know, this isn't how it was all supposed to go. I guess we need to find someone older than Lucy who might know a way for you to get back to your body again.” and I asked who was older than such a powerful being, aside from perhaps Allah or the Divine Force itself. Lila told me that Al-Lat was simply a form of the great Allah that the almighty had discarded from out of its' own being long ago, and which ultimately rebelled against the Divine Force and was given its' own domain to preside over. This domain is called Gehenna, and it is a plane of eternal existence that is as far beyond Earth but in reverse as the heavenly paradise of Allah is beyond Earth in the opposite direction. It is a kind of final, ultimate version of Hell from which typically there is, for many irredeemable souls, no returning from. “But... not all who come to Gehenna, are slated to know pain, and suffering. Some... come to be transformed, purified, and those are always allowed to return. For this place is only eternal for those who either desire to remain here of their own accord or who are too wicked to ever be allowed to return, unless they choose to be redeemed and purified, which such evil folk never choose to have happen to them. Because that path is the most painful and difficult of all, but the one most worth it for sinners to choose in the end.” That was what Lila told me, and I understood all of what the eight year old girl said with perfect clarity. I said to her: “I supposed we could ask around to see who could help us.” and then a eunuch named Virgil walked up to us and motioned for us to come sit at his table, which we did. He was very effeminate looking, had a fully head of curly black hair and gentle brown eyes, and he was wearing black rave pains with green trim and a black midriff baring top also with green trim. He was androgynous and spoke softly, telling us he was a eunuch by choice, not out of someone else making the decision and he told us he last was alive in ancient Rome, but that he no longer remembered the year, day, or circumstances of his death. She said to Lila: “The only being older than Lucy would be Death. Since Death came into being before Al-Lat was cast off from Allah. You know Death by her proper name, though. Lilith.” and I said that I was indeed familiar with Lilith and I asked Virgil how we could meet with her. He said: “She can't be summoned through normal means. Only death can bring Death to you. Lila said: “But we can't just kill someone in a place where everybody is already dead.” and then Virgil explained: “Not everybody here is dead! Some are here in astral bodies still tethered to their still living mortal shells. If you were to kill one of them, in their astral body, they would die in the living realm as well. Death would come here to take them, and you could meet with her. But doing that would damn you worse than you likely already are, given that you're here and not in some heavenly paradise. And I wouldn't risk that at all, myself.” Lila said: “Ill do it! I'm damned anyway, whatever I may do. I might as well have my afterlife matter.”
Lila then was told by Virgil: “Wait a minute little girl! You drank some of Lucy's astral blood in that juice box. Emily did too, didn't she? You two have forty eight hours before one of you is turned into a copy of Lucy herself. She did that so that she can return to her body back on Earth and still have a copy of herself here in order to prevent a reality-rending paradox. Emily's decided she isn't going to go for it, that she just wants to remain herself, so she's rejected Lucy's blood and already thrown it up. But Lila, that means you have to be the one to choose willingly to become a copy of Lucy. It doesn't honestly get more damned than that, darling.” I said: “Slow down, slow down, Virgil. You're basically saying that Lila is not going to be Lila anymore, come tomorrow?” and he nodded and said: “Yeah, kind of. She'll be Lila, but she'll be Lucy too. Mostly Lucy, with Lila pushed to the back of herself, so to speak.” and all of a sudden Lila's hair turned golden blonde and her eyes turned emerald green, and her body then became an exact copy of Lucy's, right down to her now being thirteen, busty and curvy like Lucy. Lila saw her reflection in a mirror and screaming in horror, saying: “I'm becoming her! I'm turning into the Devil.” because essentially in this place everyone considered Lucy to be basically the Devil I had long since come to realize. Then Lila said: “Come on, let's ask around and see if we can find someone who is alive in this place. We need to get you back to your body, before you end up stuck here too.” she said to me. We spent twenty four hours in that place searching, so in all Lila wasted half of her allotted time trying to help me get back to my body. We could find no one who was there while still living, and then I had an idea. I said to Lila: “Lila, since you look and sound exactly like Lucy now, why not go up to the microphone, pretend to be her, and ask if anybody here tonight is a living soul rather than a dead one?” and indeed her voice had changed so much that she could pass as the original Lucy. She did as I suggested and said, with conviction: “Hey there, my fellow fuck-ups and freaks! Who's here from the land of the living tonight? I know all you dead folks, but I wanna hear from the fleshy folk right now!” And a little boy with dark hair and bright blue eyes who looked malnourished and depressed said: “I am, Lucy! I used a Ouija board to try and talk to you, but I ended up falling asleep and woke up here. This is such a weird dream!” and Lila, still pretending to be Lucy said to the little boy: “Hey, congrats for finding your way here through your dreams! Why not come to that back table over there with me?” and I knew she was planning to murder the boy. I felt nausea within me at the thought, but I knew it was honestly the only way to bring Death to a deathless place. I watched from a distance away while Lila took the boy to the back table and there she took out a knife from her dress pocket and cut his throat with it. She then called me over to the table and said to me: “Somewhere in the world tonight, this little boy died in his sleep. It's my fault, and I'm sorry, but I had to do it. I had to!” and the there was darkness all around us, and walking toward us was an imposing woman with chalk white skin and long black hair with blood red highlights and a single white streak through it. She had black eyes with no whites in those eyes at all, and she wore a black gown and a black hooded cloak. I recognized her as Lilith. Death. Lila screamed at the sight of her saying: “It's the Grim Reaper!” but Death held no scythe in her hands, only a black rose that she discarded unto the floor. She took the little boy and opened a red portal that she took him through. She then returned, and said to Lila: “You know that what you did has damned you, you took an innocent life, he had committed no sin and had merely been curious, his life at home had been a tragic tale of abuse and malnourished misery. Perhaps it was a kindness, after all, though! He'd have died soon in any case.” Lila said: “I'm damned no matter what. You see what I am becoming, who I'm becoming. It's too late for me, I'll spend the rest of my eternity trapped in this altered body, fighting to stay me while Lucy overtakes me and I lose myself in becoming her. Or, an exact copy of her actually.” Lilith... Death... smiled knowingly, her face pained like the Santa Muerte. She then told Lila to hurry along, and Lila skipped off playfully to savor her last moments of childlike innocence before becoming a new manifestation of an ancient being that, while childlike, was certainly no child in truth. Lilith turned to me and said: “Many hours have passed in this realm, but back upon Earth you have ceased breathing for a total of only two minutes. In two more, four will have passed... and you will die. Unless I return you to your body, where you belong. But first, is unfinished business.”
I asked her what business she meant, and she said: “Chloe will be returning shortly, but later than you and Kara who lies within you. I will allow you to return... but only if you pledge to serve Lucy from the present day forward, as you did in ancient times that you may or may not remember. Otherwise, you'll need to remain here, and you will become one of her subjects anyway. Such is your ultimate destiny.” I said to her: “So I am damned after all then, no matter what I choose.” and she said: “Damnation is not always about suffering, child! And not all dark things are evil. You are of the darkness, and no god or goddess on high, nor any angel or messenger of the Divine Force could ever change your nature to that of a being of light, when it is the darkness that you most embody and always have. I speak to you, Paul and you also Kara, at the same time when I say that. You are children of Lucy, like it or not, and to her side you will always return, as it was fated to be.” I said to her then, tears in my eyes as I realized she was right and I had been a fool to not have seen the truth sooner: “Very well! Send me back, let my bargain with Lucy be sealed with that choice.” and Death wrapped her cold arms around me and said unto me: “The pact is sealed! Now return to your body, and wait for Chloe to likewise return. She will be able to, now that Lila has taken her place.” and I realized the terrifying truth I had never understood before... that Chloe was Lucy, Al-Lat herself. As Paul I understood that my twin sister was this ancient being and that though she thinks and behaves childlike when she is in control of our shared body, she is something both dark and immensely powerful. I had a newfound respect for her, and I knew that when she came back to our shared body she would remember all of this experience from her perspective, and it would be very different from my own. Kara, our guardian angel, made me see that this was true. In the next instant, Death opened a red portal once again and pushed me through it, and I awoke on the bed in my room with blood on my mouth. I was Paul, primarily, and Kara was back in the body that we share as well, but not the dominant one. I tried to process all I had learned and I realized I could not in good faith worship Allah any longer. I was in service to another now, my religion had become at last a dark shadowy reflection of Islam rather than the pure form. Some might say I am evil, that I am in truth damned, my soul sold to a hellish being of darkness who would have been born as my twin sister had things happened different regarding my birth. But she was Chloe now, Lucy was. Just Chloe, not Lucy and not Al-Lat. And yet, she was both of those things and so much more. I wondered what it was to be like when she returned to my body shortly. And what it was that was keeping her. I waited, accepting at last that this was my true calling after all, a calling of darkness rather than light. I must now embrace it.
2. Chloe's (Lucy's) remembrance of her neat-death experience, upon her return:
So I came back after all, silly little me! I'm alive again, in my body with Paul and Kara pushed back to the place inside where they retreat to when I take control of our shared body. Yeah, that was weird! It was just like what Paul wrote down today about it, what I allowed him to write down, only for me it all was different. Paul and Kara were gone when I first noticed I was outside of our shared body, and for me it was Lila who came to me outside the house, not Emily who was off with Paul and Kara. I was a little girl in my astral body, maybe no older than eight years old. I was wearing a white dress, and I had shoulder-length black hair in a pretty bob style with neatly trimmed bangs. I looked adorable! I had the brightest hazel eyes, not the blue eyes of the body I share with Paul and Kara. I looked exactly like all those AI-generated photos I made to represent myself online. I felt complete, happy, being in an astral body that was finally fully me, and not them. Lila took me places, showed me things. I saw people and their sins, saw their ultimate punishments in the hereafter, in the hell that awaits really bad people from both this town we live in, and from the neighboring city of Clinton. Yeah, I saw so much, and lots of it was brutal, bloody, terrible horror movie-like stuff. Lives, deaths, cruel deeds and horrific fates. All of it to show me that there was justice in the universe and punishment for every crime both big and little. I was taken to a mansion in Salem, Massachusetts, where I saw Emily and Paul painting together in one of the rooms. I was shown Emily's “cheerleader collection” she keeps in her basement in her mansion between life and death, in that domain some call Purgatory. The cheerleaders had become vampires all.
I watched Paul open a weird box after him and Emily went downstairs to see the cheerleaders, and I was shocked to noticed that he and Emily couldn't see either me or Lila. Which kind of freaked me out big time. I wasn't worried about Kara, who I was told by Lila was inside of Paul's astral body. But Paul was beginning to scare me, he seemed to be becoming changed by these experiences in some deep way. He who would have been my twin brother had we been born separately as it should have been. Rather than ending up forced to share a body between us and Kara. There are other souls in this body also, just three others but that makes for six souls in all. Ironic, that the number is six. The Devil's number. Yeah, a lot of truths were starting to dawn on me, I felt changed myself from the things I was understanding as my time outside our shared body continued on. When he opened the weird box, Paul was taken by darkness and shadow and demons came to wrap chains around him and make him relive the worst of all his life's various pains, and those pains were many. Kara suffered along with Paul, they suffered in that way together, before it was stopped and a demon led Paul and Emily away. Lila and I didn't follow, but instead a tall lady demon who looked like a pale lady with a shaved head and no eyebrows, dressed in a long flowing black gown with all kinds of piercings all over her face and body... and totally blood red eyes with no whites in them at all... led me and Lila to a place she called “The Maze”. A huge hedge maze that was also a really super pretty garden but with massive sharp thorns. We went through it, got cut up a lot, and ended up all bloody when we finally got to a big Amphitheater where some skinless people were hanging out, one of whom unlocked a metal gate for me and Lila. The demon lady went away, and the skinless woman led us through the long metal tunnel behind the gates. I say gates since there turned out to be more than one. Anyway, the tunnel led off into darkness and had sharp objects and nasty things and weird monsters made of shadow that were trying to grab and claw at us. We had to follow the skinless woman and walk single file so as not to get hurt or carried off by the monsters. She skinless woman told us not to look in any of the alcoves or down any of the side corridors off of the main tunnel, and I was a good little girl and did just like she told me to. Same with Lila. We got to a big modern city with neon lights and it looked so cool! Like a science fiction city of the future. The lady with no skin took us to a night club called “The Ninth Circle” and she said Paul had gone there with Emily already and that they were waiting for us inside. I was told to go in through the back door while Lila went in through the front. She said she'd meet up with me later. So, I did like she said and as soon as I entered the back door I was in a bright room with curtains made of light, and I drink some red juice and my body changed. I became thirteen years old, curvy, with big boobs and a big butt, and I had emerald green eyes with no whites in them and long curly golden blond hair down to my lower back. I was wearing a red romper that look like it was white once but stained red. And I had red nail polish on my fingers, red streaks in my hair, and I was wearing blood red lipstick too. Blood red seemed to be my color of choice, and I have to admit I do kinda love that color, it's just so super goth and awesome. So yeah, I put on a pair of these calf-high boots that kinda looked like hooker boots only they were flat. I thought they were cool, and they looked good with the romper. Everything looked like a dressing room for a theater, and when I parted the curtain that the room had instead of a door I was on a stage in front of an audience and a band was playing. I was announced as: “The Unholy Lolita herself! You all know and love her as simply Lucy from downtown. Yes, that very Lucy! Lucifera. The glorious goddess of darkness, better known in the more traditional circles as Al-Lat! Give it up, ladies of the evening and not so gentle gentlemen!” After which I said something I knew I was supposed to say, but I don't know why or how I knew I was supposed to say it. I said: “Welcome, welcome to my club tonight! Ladies of the evening, not so gentle gentlemen, friends and fiends, demons and devils, ghosts and ghouls, you are so so very welcome here, as always.” I then pointed out different people I suddenly realized that I knew here and there, and I said to them that I was super extra thankful and happy for different things they did in my name when they were alive. I won't get into the things they did, it was all really bad, bad things, but for some reason in this weird place I was happy about it and grateful for it. I felt powerful, like a kind of celebrity, and I was taking in all these peoples' love and devotion toward me and it felt great.
And, then everybody was clapping after that and I was singing and dancing and putting on a show while the band was playing. I even did a silly comedy routine and finished with a big pop singer style performance that finished off the show with tons of applause and cheering from the audience. I let out a shrieking scream just for the fun of it and I walked over to a table where Paul and Emily were hanging out. Lila was nearby too, I noticed. Paul asked me where Chloe was and since I'm Chloe I said to him: “She's right here!” and I gestured to myself, but he didn't get what I was trying to tell him and she said he didn't see Chloe there at all, and he only called me Lucy. I told him he could see me just find but that he just didn't realize he was looking at me. Then something crazy got into me and I forced a big slopped wet kiss on Paul, and just before that I handed a couple of juice boxes to Emily and Lila that were full of something I knew was called “blood wine” which had my own blood in it. I told them it was cool with them being kids to drink it since it was non-alcoholic anyway. I said they'd enjoy it. It tasted kind of super fruity with a slight coppery taste besides, and they seemed to enjoy it, they drank it all up. After I kisses Paul he just went crazy, pulled my romper off of me, and I just went along with it and before I knew it we were having sex like two wild beasts. I just laid on a table, my legs spread, while he was hopping my pussy and shoving his dick in and out of me like there was no tomorrow. It felt good to actually have a pussy in this body, and I was relishing using it. He came in me big time, and I grabbed a towel and poured water from a pitcher on it and cleaned myself up before putting my clothes back on. Paul put the silly clown costume was had been wearing back on, and Emily called me a pig and said I was acting like a “degenerate slut” as she called me. I told Paul not to pay attention to anything she said, and then Emily walked off in a huff, her face beat red with anger. She called me the Devil, and I called her a jealous little bitch. She tried to convince Paul I was leading him astray, but I set him straight and after Emily left for good this time... in quite a hurry... I realized there was a very super important thing I totally had to see to. But first I said to Paul: “So, you want to go back to your body again, huh? I want to go back to my body too. But Emily and Lila are holding things up by not making up their minds.” and I knew what that meant, as if I'd always known about these kinds of weird occult things. Paul wanted to know what those two kids had to do with anything and I just said to him that I'd see him later, and that I needed to deal with something first. I then snapped my fingers, and a door-like blue portal appeared. I walked through it and it closed behind me. After that, I was in a place where Lilith was hanging out. It was a dark, shadowy place between life and death, and as you may or may not know Lilith is the embodiment and manifestation of death, Better known as Death! So yeah, the place was creepy, spooky, dark and not exactly life-affirming to hang around in. Death said to me that I could only go back to my body again if either Emily or Lila decided to stay in Hell and take my place there, becoming a new version of me. Otherwise, she said, there would be a paradox so severe that it could rend reality or do something crazy bad that could be disastrous for the whole universe and maybe the multiverse too. She then told me that Emily forced herself to puke up the juice I gave her out of spite, and that without my blood in her she couldn't become a new me. So Emily was no longer one of the candidates. That only left Lila, and honestly I liked her a whole lot better anyway. She and I do have a whole lot in common! I leave it up to your imagination, dear reader, to discern what I mean by that. But yeah, time was ticking it felt like a good twenty four hours was flying by. Death was getting all anxious to do something, and me I just wanted to head back to the nightclub, belt out some songs and bang my head and rock out. But Lilith, she's all business and she said I had to wait in that dark in between place with her a while. In the meantime, Paul and Lila were up to something or another and Death told me that Lila finally got to the point where she was cool with becoming a new version of me so she could stay in Hell while I could be free to go back to Earth, to that body I'm stuck sharing with Paul, Kara, and the three others inside of there. Speaking of which, I'm always going to be curious as to what the heck they were getting up to in their respective afterlife experiences. But that's not any of my business! Lilith hurried me back through one of her fancy red portals, and it took me to various places where I had to do all kinds of things before it was time for me to be pulled back into the waiting body.
Paul already wrote what he and Lila did around that time after I was no longer in Death's domain. I was off on my own crazy odyssey to get back to our body by that point. I am so not going to tell you all the places I went, all the things I did, most of it was so much I could write volumes about it but won't. Time means nothing in Gehenna, nothing whatsoever. Except when there's a deadline that has to be in the end met. And this time, there had been a deadline and Lila did the right thing and met it. Even if I got the impression she'd really fucked up her karma for good in the process. Like I'm one to talk about being a karmic fuck-up! But seriously, I wasn't really keen on coming back but if I didn't then Lila was going to get stuck in the shared body in my place and that would've been awkward for everybody. Most especially Zoey! When she got home from work, she wouldn't want to have to deal with a stranger in place of good old familiar Chloe. So, I came back in the end and was able to add my experience in the hereafter to this document. I think Paul's finally heel turned to darkness at this point, but honestly I'd have been surprised if he hadn't turned dark after all that. But he always hides in the back while either me or Kara take charge most days, so I doubt Paul will be much of a problem anymore than he usually is. I'm sure if we'd have been born separate twins, we'd have been crazy incest with each other. What we did together in Gehenna convinced me of that. But now, it's back to awkwardly sharing an intersex body while trying to figure out who gets to be in charge during what situations. I didn't get back into the body until a lot later, since all those things I mentioned that I did after going through the red portal seriously delayed me. But I'm here today, writing this, and really missing how much hotter I looked in Gehenna. Given Gehenna is basically like Hell on steroids, me looking hotter there is definitely a fine situation of pun intended. So there you have it, that's what happened last night. It is currently the date of 11/21/2024 and it is exactly 5:42 PM, that means in the afternoon for all you sillies out there who may or may not know what. And who doesn't? But yeah, it was a lot to go through. I see myself a lot different now, and I don't know if Paul or Kara have put two and two together yet and finally realized who I am or not. But when they do, it's going to blow their crazy little minds! See, we don't just have our own separate souls, we have our own minds too, our own memories, our own identities. And when I'm in charge, I have no idea what Kara or Paul or any of the others are thinking or feeling, or what they know or remember. We're all different people who just happen to be stuck in one physical body. Which sucks, but we deal with it because what else can you do in a situation like that! Got to make the best of it. Only very rarely can we share things with reach other inside. Only very, very rarely. And in this case, that's not happening. I did read what Paul wrote here of course. I had to! He needed to share his experience, and I needed to share mine. I suppose each gives context and meaning to the other, as is only right given we're twins. Paul was difficult last night, Zoey told me. Zoey was a lot happier when I pushed Paul to the back and came to the fore as the dominant soul in this body. Somehow, me being so childlike always brings out Zoey's desire to be protective towards me, and parental, which feels good. It feels good to be loved, to be cared for, and cherished by someone as nice as Zoey is. Last night, it has totally changed everything, for all of us. Paul's and Kara's shared faith has been altered permanently, and me... I'm a fallen child goddess of the damned, stuck sharing a body with five other souls, making a perfect six. My number! I feel the power inside me still, but I won't use it for evil. I may be dark, but I am not evil. Paul is the one who is evil. Sexy, but evil. I will continue to keep him at bay, keep him as deeply buried within me as possible. I will still let Kara come forward when Kara wishes to, but not Paul I think. I hope that Lila is doing well, adjusting to her new rule as regent of Gehenna in my stead. Most folks there won't even know the difference between her and I. And reality is just as it's always been. The word is just as shitty and miserable as we left it. With the state of things today, the last thing anybody needs is a reality-rending catastrophe of beyond Biblical proportions. We've preserved the order of the multiverse, for the time being. Now it is time for me to finish this written work and be back to the daily routine of my life, such as it is, in this lousy little backward town. Someday though, we're going to move to a better place, but in the meantime I might as well make the best of things. I'd say you only live once... but in our cases that's totally not true. I've seen way too much proof for the contrary!
Published 22nd Nov 2024
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