deepundergroundpoetry.com
I see you often
You are
the sun on my bed
on a calm afternoon
the orange in the leaves
during the change to autumn
the smell of clothes
after they have just been washed
the large chunk of chocolate
in my ice cream
the quiet whirring
of the fan overhead
the sun on my bed
on a calm afternoon
the orange in the leaves
during the change to autumn
the smell of clothes
after they have just been washed
the large chunk of chocolate
in my ice cream
the quiet whirring
of the fan overhead
Published 1st Nov 2024
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comments 3
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The author encourages honest critique.
8th Nov 2024 2:32am
This poem's strength, in my opinion, lies in the simple but effective imagery throughout. The last one is my favorite, it ties it all into a nice bow of existential peace, maybe even bliss. Good job.
Mundus
Mundus
14th Nov 2024 5:16pm
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment! And such a great one too. This poem was kind of hard, as I wanted to try and balance specific things that I enjoy, without being so specific that no one else would understand.
I tried to have something for each sense, and honestly, taste was the hardest. I wanted to say something about oranges and how I love the tiny juice-filled bits (endocarp).
Hopefully you can have someone who makes you feel the same happiness as the simple joys of life
I tried to have something for each sense, and honestly, taste was the hardest. I wanted to say something about oranges and how I love the tiny juice-filled bits (endocarp).
Hopefully you can have someone who makes you feel the same happiness as the simple joys of life
21st Nov 2024 6:43am
