deepundergroundpoetry.com
Death Veil
The black house perched on the hill,
was heavily haunted on a deadly still night.
It punctured the twilight,
that had bled mysterious pink light.
There she was.
Her movement obscure,
in the fog of midnight.
She wore a long tattered death veil.
No one would believe this tale.
Was she coming back or coming to?
In my shaken soul,
terror saunters through.
Does her beginning and end intersect?
She's half alive and half dead.
She turns with a penetrating stare
with hollow eyes of coal.
She came to collect what life stole.
From an empty coffin in a six foot hole.
was heavily haunted on a deadly still night.
It punctured the twilight,
that had bled mysterious pink light.
There she was.
Her movement obscure,
in the fog of midnight.
She wore a long tattered death veil.
No one would believe this tale.
Was she coming back or coming to?
In my shaken soul,
terror saunters through.
Does her beginning and end intersect?
She's half alive and half dead.
She turns with a penetrating stare
with hollow eyes of coal.
She came to collect what life stole.
From an empty coffin in a six foot hole.
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Re. Death Veil
27th Oct 2024 1:36am
Check you out! Pretty cool that your write and my new one share a similar beginning.
House, illuminating light, etc
But damn yours goes sinister! I love it! You always do write consistently well, usually weather/nature themes. But you don't slack from other themes at all.
This is super creative and engrossing. I was expecting it to continue further, because it held my attention. Yet it ends powerfully.
Excellent write, Debbie .
House, illuminating light, etc
But damn yours goes sinister! I love it! You always do write consistently well, usually weather/nature themes. But you don't slack from other themes at all.
This is super creative and engrossing. I was expecting it to continue further, because it held my attention. Yet it ends powerfully.
Excellent write, Debbie .
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Re: Re. Death Veil
27th Oct 2024 1:44am
Hi! I was thinking the same thing when I read yours! 😊
I saw that image and I was captivated.
I get a little nervous when I veer away from nature.
Thank you for such nice comments, it's an honor coming from you.
I saw that image and I was captivated.
I get a little nervous when I veer away from nature.
Thank you for such nice comments, it's an honor coming from you.
Re: Re. Death Veil
27th Oct 2024 2:02am
Why be nervous when you have such a strong creative ability. Be confident and be proud. You ain't no slouch at this!
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Re: Re. Death Veil
27th Oct 2024 2:08am
Re. Death Veil
27th Oct 2024 1:41am
Re: Re. Death Veil
27th Oct 2024 2:09am
Re. Death Veil
27th Oct 2024 2:16am
I love a good scary write!
The curiosity of the write really brought me into the story.
And the pic is epic.
The curiosity of the write really brought me into the story.
And the pic is epic.
1
Re: Re. Death Veil
27th Oct 2024 2:44am
Hi! The pic inspired the poem. Thank you for your feedback!
Have a good night. 🌙
Have a good night. 🌙
Re. Death Veil
27th Oct 2024 2:50am
That ending is POWERFUL, girl.
You're gonna make me a Halloweenie yet. Wait. that sounds wrong...
You're gonna make me a Halloweenie yet. Wait. that sounds wrong...
0
Re: Re. Death Veil
27th Oct 2024 2:55am
😂 thank you. I needed a good closing line.
No weenies allowed, lol.
Love ya, sweet dreams 💜
No weenies allowed, lol.
Love ya, sweet dreams 💜
Re. Death Veil
27th Oct 2024 10:43am
Re. Death Veil
29th Oct 2024 00:25am
Mesmerizing in how it describes the ghostly features of apparition. This is perhaps a good outlet for you to explore, as with your wonder comes the daring temptation to read more, in how you choose to convey. The depiction of emotion here is somewhat mysterious and haunting, as you take it in theme and direction. Some of the uncertainty and inquisition of how it comes across to me opens doors as to great wonder in my perception, or at least, potentially. Again, good job overall. This seems like you're exploring something different, and you capture a unique expression in transition.
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Re: Re. Death Veil
29th Oct 2024 1:59am
Thank you so very much. Figured it's Halloween, why not get sinister, lol.
I've been contemplating attempting to write a novel. I read so much,
I sometimes think, I can do this. I love that I opened doors in your mind.
Walk through. 😊
I've been contemplating attempting to write a novel. I read so much,
I sometimes think, I can do this. I love that I opened doors in your mind.
Walk through. 😊