Prison, here I come!

After a swig,
I screwed on the cap tight.  
I put on some shorts then staggered into the night.  
After all the stuff I drank, my control quickly parted.  
So I laughed, stumbled, and fell, the shit really started!
I blamed the rain as my car slid across the road.
I smiled at the empty pint, another wild oat sowed!
I hugged my second bottle.
Ha ha! This time I won't go to jail.  
Wrong!
I was convicted of DUI for the sixth time.
Definitely, no chance for bail.