deepundergroundpoetry.com
taste
just a taste
a taste of this luxurious chocolate
not the type that melts away and leaves a cheap aftertaste
the rich creamy chocolate
lingers on my tongue
like a dance with my passionate appetite
this truffle that melts inside my mouth
so much better than sugar
this sensation crosses my lips
soft and inviting
your taste
mellow it allows me to close my eyes
caught in the aroma your skin lends
to devour you as a tasty morsel
a treat my lips can't help but smile
rock hard body
taste so sweet
I'm struggling through my sweet tooth
for just another taste
taste of that delicious decadent chocolate sensation
Published 24th Feb 2010
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24th Feb 2010 11:04pm
this poem attracts me by its sexuality. and also because i'm such a chocolate lover :)
it mostly works well - even though few bits and pieces could be changed or removed.
particularly i liked lines:
the rich creamy chocolate
lingers on my tongue
like a dance with my ?sexual? hunger (not sure about this word though - if you are trying to make poem sexual, better to avoid such kind of exposing words - just an advice to think about)
taste of that delicious decadent chocolate sensation
it mostly works well - even though few bits and pieces could be changed or removed.
particularly i liked lines:
the rich creamy chocolate
lingers on my tongue
like a dance with my ?sexual? hunger (not sure about this word though - if you are trying to make poem sexual, better to avoid such kind of exposing words - just an advice to think about)
taste of that delicious decadent chocolate sensation
25th Feb 2010 12:18pm
Thanks for the constructive criticism... It was a quick write.. I was thinking about men and chocolate
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12th Apr 2010 2:05am
