Chat Room - with Shilohverse

                         OVER THE HILL CHAT ROOM FOR THE DISCREET
                                   MarshaTeaKettle Room Moderator    

Marsha: the mics are now open, please watch your language

6pac69: Who farted

Marsha: please refrain from that language and welcome back from the dead. didn't you die last week...again

FishSauce: I want to lodge a complaint. 6pac69 knocked me up over the internet

Marsha: Watch the language

6pac69: I did not. I have had an internet vasectomy

Marsha: We have a newbie. Welcome MissArgot  

MissArgot: I can't hear you

FishSauce: I use polident to glue my bonbons on

Marsha: I thank you mean tampons  

6pac69: Tell the bitch to turn her ears on  

MissArgot: I got the rag on and it impairs my hearing. Who farted    

FFrank69: I am god's copilot. I just got back from Saturn

MissArgot:  A moment of silence as I sing

Marsha: Please don't

MissArgot: Shall we gather at the river Where...
.  
6pac69: Shut up

FFrank69: I have been diagnosed with stage 3 schizophrenia

FishSauce: Who are you this week  

FFrank69: The easter bunny. Who farted

Marsha: Welcome Hero0069

Hero0069: I am a Dom. I am looking for an online sub

6pac69: I hear that Subway has great meatball sandwiches

Marsha: That’s enough, 6pac. We’re not here to talk about food

Hero0069: *laughs* No, a submissive. But I do love meatball sandwiches

MissArgot: What’s a submissive? Is that like a sublet?

FishSauce: No, MissArgot, it’s like a house pet, but human

Hero0069: Not exactly, but close enough in this room

Marsha: Okay, okay, let’s get back on track. Any questions or concerns?

FFrank69: I have a concern. can I change my name to "WhisperingJupiter"?

Marsha: that’s too long, but I can put in a request

FFrank69: What about "BluCochise"

6pac69: I have a question. is there a senior discount on zoom?

MissArgot: I don't know what a zoom is. Is that like a drug?

FishSauce: No, that’s what the kids use to watch people fart on the computer

FFrank69: Speaking of farts, who just…?

Marsha: Enough with the farting!

FFrank69: I think the penny replaced the farthing

Hero0069: Let's talk about something else… anyone interested in knitting?  

FishSauce: I knit my husband a sweater, but he refuses to wear it

6pac69: Probably smells like fish sauce

FishSauce: it's lavender-scented, thank you very much!

MissArgot: Lavender makes me sneeze. who sneezed?

Marsha: Can we please not go down this path again?

( DeadheadFred just entered the chat)

DeadheadFred: I wanna talk about my gout damnit!

Marsha: Go ahead DeadheadFred

DeadheadFred: It's about time I got the mic.
Let's see here....oh yeah, have y'all heard about the big flood?

Marsha: of course we have Doppler Radar. What's that got to do with your gout?

DeadheadFred: I'll tell ya what that's got to do with my gout. When it rains, it pours...oh, I got off the subject there. Oh well, anyway, moisture makes my veins tickle.

MissArgot: I think I have ticklish veins too. How do you check?

FFrank69: You need a divining rod and a pack of Twizzlers.

FishSauce: Twizzlers make me constipated.

6pac69: That's because you eat the plastic wrapper, Fish.

Marsha: Let’s not discuss bathroom habits, please.

Hero0069: Speaking of bathroom habits, any tips for discreet adult diapers? Asking for a friend…

MissArgot: Your "friend" needs to cut out caffeine. I read it in Reader's Digest.

6pac69: What's a Reader's Digest? Some diet plan?

FFrank69: No, it's a magazine for people who enjoy falling asleep on the toilet.

Marsha: Can we please focus? Does anyone have anything constructive to share?

DeadheadFred: I got a new hip! It’s titanium and sets off every metal detector from here to Poughkeepsie.

Hero0069: Titanium? That’s sexy. Does it squeak when you walk?

DeadheadFred: Only when I try to dance. I also got a pump-up penis implant

FishSauce: I once danced with a traffic cone. Best date I ever had. But why pump up peanuts?
Doesn't Planters have equipment?  

MissArgot: Was he handsome?

6pac69: No, but he was the best listener in this chat.

Marsha: I'm begging you, please keep it civil.

FFrank69: Civil? Like a civil war? I think I fought in one.

Marsha: Okay, that’s it. I’m muting everyone for a five-minute "calm down" period.

Hero0069: But I still want to know more about those meatball sandwiches.

Marsha: You're all muted. Use the time to reflect on your behavior… or think about sandwiches, I don't care anymore.

(Five minutes of blessed silence.)

Marsha: Alright, the mics are back on. Can we please behave like adults?

6pac69: I think we're all too old to be called adults.

FishSauce: Speak for yourself, I’m a young 82.

MissArgot: Who sneezed again?

Marsha: Oh, for crying out loud…

Stetson69: Did I miss anything? I was playing pickled ball in the crapper. My daughter just got hitched to a transgendered Toyota. It had its catalytic converter snipped off

Marsha: Don't get personal Daddy. It was a Kia.  

Stetson69: Marsha, could you lead us in a short prayer?

Hero0069: Ain't nothing wrong with the chair. It just squeaks a little.

Marsha: How is Mom, Daddy?

Stetson69: It's those dang anal warts again. They look like stalagmites and her toenail clippers are in the shop.