Shooting for the scars

Discusted by my self  
Mirrors make me cringe  
Cant stand my own reflection  
So I left on a binge.  
Suspended in a void  
breaking all the rules  
Yet I just keep pushing  
Disappearing from view  
I’ve been foolish this far.  
Deceit creeping among shadows,  
bitterness and toxicity  
Leading my way aimlessly through the shallows  
Now completely alone.  
Trapped by myself in this place I’m alone
The longer I’m here, despair finds me faster. As if from nowhere, stopping abruptly in place.    
A Sitting duck, rudely splashed in the face,
Stuck with no escape in
 my own disasters wake. great  
I need a break. It goes just the same
still nothing here  
All sounds lost,
drowned out by the echos of fear.
rebounding off the nothingness in my chest that’s  
Getting stronger  
The mistakes I’ve made, I wish make them no longer  
Do they seem smaller ?  
The Flames spreading across all my surfaces. They Engulf all the cold, swallowing whole all my purposes.
Thick black smoke that won’t let me win.  
Snake like veins leading the free
plunging violently in
main lining speed is a creed I’ve agreed
by the lust of my greed
or the dust in my spoon  
Didn’t know what hit me until  
I collided with the moon  
I’m stuck here now, in this empty  
Vast tomb  
I thought I was lost  
But that just wasn’t true  
That was nothing compared  
This existence without you.  
Roaming and lost here  
Cold and I’m scared.  
Wishing I could undo everytime  
I didn’t care.