Zero Carbon Footprint

Heading home
no more use for me here

Sew my eyelids shut
Immolate me to ashes
Or alternately,
if you'd prefer,
buy me some cheap underground real estate.
Or just chop me up and feed me to pigs.

Should cremation
rule the nation,
let me urn my keep
on your mantlepiece
with memories
of my stupid puns

Gotta run
I've run and run and run
Time to stagger past
the universal dateline
and be free

But with my luck,
there will be a seamless transition
to a hell to the millionth power.