deepundergroundpoetry.com

Maybe she should have asked for cereal instead

Kind of sick of my wife
This marriage is getting the best of me
All she does is complain, nag, whine and bark orders
I could divorce her
I could up & leave
I'm just lazy I guess
I zone out most of the time
I'll escape by writing poems or stories
Other times I'll exercise or go for a walk or bike ride
I always keep myself busy
I'm a perfectionist
Our home is always clean, organized and neat
She knows how well I take care of everything and knows she don't need to lift a finger
The one thing she does is cook
Very good at it, but she'll throw it in my face that she slaves over a stove
Oh well
You can at least do that
A few times she's pushed me to serve her breakfast in bed
I told her numerous times I don't know how to cook
You want cereal or toast then you'll get that
She'll become agitated and say forget it
She's always angry or annoyed
Her misery has poured onto me
I have zero interest in having sex with her
So unattractive
Thank goodness for porn and this woman I met one day at the park
She seems interested in me and I like her personality
Happy, outgoing, refreshing and cute
We talk, walk, bike ride and sometimes hold hands
We haven't engaged in anything yet, but I would like to soon
Today is Saturday
My wife was yelling from the bedroom that she was going to take a bath
She wanted me to make her coffee and some toast with butter
I said, "If you're gonna take a bath why should I make the breakfast now?"
She said, "No you dumb shit, I want you to make this & serve it to me while I'm relaxing in the tub!"
I said, "That's dumb!"
She went on by saying with her nasty disposition, "If you don't serve me, I'm not cooking ever again!!" "I know how much you love a good meal."
I said, "OK then, fine!"
I went into the kitchen as she went into the bathroom to set up her bubble bath
Her coffee was now finished
I opened up the package and put two slices of bread in the toaster
I can hear the tub filling up
She then placed herself in the tub
I heard a large sigh come from her as she was probably getting real comfortable
As I put together her tray with all of her breakfast wants
I opened the bathroom door, only to realize that the water must have been extremely hot
The entire bathroom was steamy
Couldn't see to much in front of me
I kept the door open a bit
She yelled, "YOU'RE LETTING ALL THE HOT AIR OUT!"
"If you're here to serve me my breakfast, well then leave it near the shower doors"
I said calmly, "No honey, I want to make this right"
She opened the shower door halfway
As she did, I backed up several feet
I had her toast in the toaster plugged into the wall
She said, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
I said, "I want you to die an agonizing death!"
I took the toaster and threw it over the shower glass doors
When it landed into the tub...
OH WOW!
It looked like a 4th of July celebration
Her body was electrified
She was jerking & convulsing like she was getting fucked real hard
The water was turning blood red
The electric throughout the house was going haywire
I know there would be some explanation I would have to explain to the authorities but whatever
She's dead
That's all that matters
Maybe she should have asked for cereal instead!