I didn't come to say goodbye

I didn't come to say goodbye
to you
we've said goodbye
many times over
I don't understand
how one more time
will make this hurt any less

Death is for the living
it's a weight that's meant
for us alone to bear
death is easy for dead
though I'm sure you're glad
that when your finally hours
ticked around
we all showed up

I didn't come to say goodbye
to you
I came because social norms
dictate I not be a bitch
and abandon family
never mind that I have to live
with this
that this is my last memory of you
and I won't forget the way
you clung to life
even as your body failed you
your death rattle the only indication
you were still breathing
until you stopped

I didn't want to remember you like this
I wanted a final memory of you
that wasn't so completely hopeless

I didn't get it

I didn't come to say goodbye