deepundergroundpoetry.com

Locations of escape

A light breeze
On a warm summer night
The sound of the cars
Waiting at a red light
The smell of the trees
And the concrete
Most of us have situations
That bring us to a familiar place of bliss
Over the years you formulate these locations of escape
Where everything is ok
And anxiety has no place
I often long for this feeling of subspace
These situations
Ones that leave me feeling a bit used
A bit tired- my body is humming
Better then any joint would do
Everything gets to be quiet for a bit
I wait for the train to take me home from a city I rarely travel to alone
To meet a man in an after hours situation
In a closed up framing warehouse in the heart of Queens
He painfully violated me
Spit in his hands and slapped all the air right out of me
After hours and hours of rough foreplay
He entered me hard where it hurts the most
It was probably my fault for assuming natural penetration
Would be too intimate for the occasion
The blood from behind implied I've never had it so rough in that location
I've never cursed so much in my entire life
Until all I had left �to give was silence �
And then he was spent
And when he was finished using my body
I leaned back
And he kissed my head
It had been the first time we met
And I was ready to be hurt again and again
I was desperately searching for what I wanted
Hungry to experience my mother's wrath
But in men I knew I could please
Testing danger for the kind of fear
That always seemed to shamefully arouse me
And sex always seemed to be validating
Motivating, if it was violating.
Selfless, I could be good for something
Over the years you formulate these locations of escape
Where everything is ok
And anxiety has no place
I often long for this feeling of subspace

[/font]