deepundergroundpoetry.com
If I had it my way
If I had it my way
Certain thoughts would fade
I’d live in a world full of color
I wouldn’t feel under the weather
I’d only taste happiness
No such thing as sadness or emptiness
I wouldn’t dwell on the past
Our mind and body would last
If I had it my way
You would fade
I can’t have it my way
I have to have darkness among the world of color
To taste fear, sadness and anger
Is to feel
I can’t peel my memories away bit by bit
Nor will this pit heal fast
Ay the past hurts
The memories burn
But if we had it our way
We would lose what was best said
In the harshness of the weather someone holds hot coffee
The warm hope in their hands
To help them dance during the rain
Ay the pain
The pain we feel
Helps us heal
We can’t have it our way
And it’s okay
Certain thoughts would fade
I’d live in a world full of color
I wouldn’t feel under the weather
I’d only taste happiness
No such thing as sadness or emptiness
I wouldn’t dwell on the past
Our mind and body would last
If I had it my way
You would fade
I can’t have it my way
I have to have darkness among the world of color
To taste fear, sadness and anger
Is to feel
I can’t peel my memories away bit by bit
Nor will this pit heal fast
Ay the past hurts
The memories burn
But if we had it our way
We would lose what was best said
In the harshness of the weather someone holds hot coffee
The warm hope in their hands
To help them dance during the rain
Ay the pain
The pain we feel
Helps us heal
We can’t have it our way
And it’s okay
Published 24th Jul 2024
Author's Note
Some days I remember awful things I’ve done or said and it makes me not like myself, a friend told me that while we may not like the person we were; it’s who you are now that matters. I’m still healing but I’m choosing to treat people better and to be better towards myself
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The author encourages honest critique.
24th Jul 2024 6:12am
Wonderful write. I know what you mean, I've been sober for about a year and a half. With that comes dealing with memories and bad choices. And most of all how we treat others around us. I'm guilty of not always being a wonderful person. Sometimes I don't like me so much either. But I'm trying to make changes and attempting to better myself. Somedays are better than others but I believe the effort is important to try and like me. Best of luck. Appreciate you.
DL
DL
24th Jul 2024 1:14pm
That’s awesome, I’m proud of you! Healing takes time and whether it’s embarrassment, regret or frustration on how we acted or what we did we are all still healing in some way and just by changing bad habits and working on being kind to others as well as ourselves is a start in the right direction I think
25th Jul 2024 4:04am
29th Jul 2024 4:33pm
I can relate to that, having taken in my past questionable decisions against doing something suggested that COULD have been key to a better life than I found myself (eg with regard to career, living situation etc) and hating myself for them. What your friend said I would draw strength from - think more of the person you ARE who has grown through and from the experiences and mistakes.
I have also had times of thinking if I had it my way I would not have gone through certain accidents and health episodes I have had, but in these I have also experienced friendships and comforting influences that would not have come my way, and these experiences have given me means to inspire others.
I have also had times of thinking if I had it my way I would not have gone through certain accidents and health episodes I have had, but in these I have also experienced friendships and comforting influences that would not have come my way, and these experiences have given me means to inspire others.
