deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Cave
I work hard.
My muscles become strings
Once attached to thoughts
which had caught them as they flew.
Now wound tightly together
Laces in an old shoe.
For this reason
... in a deep, deep well of many,
Worship becomes fuel,
Ignition begets:
My heart on fire.
A first love vertically.
His peace that speaks as it walks,
In a voice that does not always come
In the strong wind
In the fire
In the earthquake
But in the mouth of the cave that is still
quiet secret
And it shatters chaos with its hush
and aligns my heart to His truth.
My muscles become strings
Once attached to thoughts
which had caught them as they flew.
Now wound tightly together
Laces in an old shoe.
For this reason
... in a deep, deep well of many,
Worship becomes fuel,
Ignition begets:
My heart on fire.
A first love vertically.
His peace that speaks as it walks,
In a voice that does not always come
In the strong wind
In the fire
In the earthquake
But in the mouth of the cave that is still
quiet secret
And it shatters chaos with its hush
and aligns my heart to His truth.
Published 23rd Jul 2024
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 2
comments 9
reads 103
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Jul 2024 4:58pm
This is beautiful, but I did get hung up on one part. To honor your request for 'honest critique', I offer the following:
My muscles become strings
Once attached to thoughts
And had caught them as they flew.
The "And caught them as they flew" tripped me up. I'm not really certain what you're attempting to say here. Maybe it's the word "And". . .perhaps
My muscles become strings
once attached to thoughts
that/which caught them as they flew.
But I'm unsure if that's what you're trying to say.
Regardless, it wasn't enough to prevent me from RL'ing this.
My muscles become strings
Once attached to thoughts
And had caught them as they flew.
The "And caught them as they flew" tripped me up. I'm not really certain what you're attempting to say here. Maybe it's the word "And". . .perhaps
My muscles become strings
once attached to thoughts
that/which caught them as they flew.
But I'm unsure if that's what you're trying to say.
Regardless, it wasn't enough to prevent me from RL'ing this.
23rd Jul 2024 5:19pm
24th Jul 2024 00:11am
Have you published?
In my humble opinion, you definitely should.
I may have to call Guinness with the amount of times I praise your work.
This is stunning, poetess.
In my humble opinion, you definitely should.
I may have to call Guinness with the amount of times I praise your work.
This is stunning, poetess.
24th Jul 2024 00:12am
24th Jul 2024 00:13am
Brilliantly written once again. I would put this in my reading list, but I just used my last one on your Crow poem. Both are incredible examples of imagery and storytelling. Amen to this one. Appreciate you.
DL
DL
27th Jul 2024 10:51am
27th Jul 2024 7:05am
Reminds me of Elijah's cave experience in the Bible. Like that sum up of a devoted relationship between God and man:
their creak & moan stirs the blood
as breath held in anticipation is released
their creak & moan stirs the blood
as breath held in anticipation is released
27th Jul 2024 10:51am
1 Kings 19:11-13
11 The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
This has been a passage God has been speaking to me through this season.
Thank you
11 The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
This has been a passage God has been speaking to me through this season.
Thank you
