deepundergroundpoetry.com
Descending
I've been trying to pull myself out of this hole
The harder I try the further down I go
And I just don't know
Im trapped though
I'm so low
Every direction I pick still ends up the same
I go up and Im surrounded by blame
Down only leads me to shame
Playing a rigged game
No prize to claim
I don't want to believe this is my fate
But Im caught in a weakened state
Trying not to give in to hate
Its probably too late
Too much weight
Maybe instead I should bury myself in
Cuz there's no way I can win
Just let the ending begin
Stop playing pretend
Like I've been
Searching for happiness leads me to pain
If I won't change, how can I complain?
If I don't risk, how can I gain?
Is it ptsd or am I insane?
Is it just my brain?
A result of what Ive been conditioned to be
Negative inside everything that I see
Can't live on how I wish it would be
Even if I had the key
Ill never be free
I can't live in a world that I see as being fake
Even if it means that my life's at stake
The only choice that I can make
Only stance I can take
Can't be a snake
So I hold tight to my morals and suffer alone
I shut the world out so its me on my own
Every opportunity I've blown
Its despair that I've grown
Reap what I've sown
The harder I try the further down I go
And I just don't know
Im trapped though
I'm so low
Every direction I pick still ends up the same
I go up and Im surrounded by blame
Down only leads me to shame
Playing a rigged game
No prize to claim
I don't want to believe this is my fate
But Im caught in a weakened state
Trying not to give in to hate
Its probably too late
Too much weight
Maybe instead I should bury myself in
Cuz there's no way I can win
Just let the ending begin
Stop playing pretend
Like I've been
Searching for happiness leads me to pain
If I won't change, how can I complain?
If I don't risk, how can I gain?
Is it ptsd or am I insane?
Is it just my brain?
A result of what Ive been conditioned to be
Negative inside everything that I see
Can't live on how I wish it would be
Even if I had the key
Ill never be free
I can't live in a world that I see as being fake
Even if it means that my life's at stake
The only choice that I can make
Only stance I can take
Can't be a snake
So I hold tight to my morals and suffer alone
I shut the world out so its me on my own
Every opportunity I've blown
Its despair that I've grown
Reap what I've sown
Published 17th Jul 2024
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Anonymous
- Edited 17th Jul 2024 7:18pm
17th Jul 2024 7:17pm
… so… shaped poetry is something I haven’t seen from you yet. Love how the form echoes the descent mentioned. Kinda reminds me of an ECG heart graph almost. The rhyme scheme here is also on point and effortlessly flows from one thought to the next. I thought these were things that really worked for the piece.
My interest kinda peaked here:
I don't want to believe this is my fate
But Im caught in a weakened state
I think there was a bit of a hinge… it kinda recognises that these states are temporary. Yeah, these feelings are catching you off guard. But even you want to strive for something else. I think that’s important.
This was also interesting:
Searching for happiness leads me to pain
If I won't change, how can I complain?
If I don't risk, how can I gain?
Is it ptsd or am I insane?
Is it just my brain?
I think it’s important to recognise that happiness for anybody (everybody, in fact) has some element of hurt and risk. I feel your question here of risk and recognising nothing will happen without action is actually positive. Because you’re starting to get it. It needs that first foot through the damn door.
I actually quite liked this one. Maybe because it feels like it captures a moment, and the way that it moves. Feels very representative of your mindset, and I can get behind a real world capture.
All that being said… keep moving fkn forward, pal. There’s no use in staying wooden. 👌🏻
Thank you for sharing
-M
My interest kinda peaked here:
I don't want to believe this is my fate
But Im caught in a weakened state
I think there was a bit of a hinge… it kinda recognises that these states are temporary. Yeah, these feelings are catching you off guard. But even you want to strive for something else. I think that’s important.
This was also interesting:
Searching for happiness leads me to pain
If I won't change, how can I complain?
If I don't risk, how can I gain?
Is it ptsd or am I insane?
Is it just my brain?
I think it’s important to recognise that happiness for anybody (everybody, in fact) has some element of hurt and risk. I feel your question here of risk and recognising nothing will happen without action is actually positive. Because you’re starting to get it. It needs that first foot through the damn door.
I actually quite liked this one. Maybe because it feels like it captures a moment, and the way that it moves. Feels very representative of your mindset, and I can get behind a real world capture.
All that being said… keep moving fkn forward, pal. There’s no use in staying wooden. 👌🏻
Thank you for sharing
-M
18th Jul 2024 00:06am
Incredible word play. The style reminds me of 80's design on shirts. Or climbing a mountain. Which in a way you are. love the piece. cuz
