New York and it's Asinine Laws

New York has some really stupid laws
Recently I've been reading some of them
Here's a handful that are truly ridiculous
 
1) It's Illegal to Sell Dog or Cat hair
 
Well I hate both cats & dogs, so for me I think all animals should be banned
 
2) It's illegal to have a puppet show in your window
 
I've done that numerous times with placing a sock puppet on my cock
Several times my ex-girlfriend would get involved and decorate her torso and pussy with paints and makeups
Loads of fun
Many observers watched and I even charged a fee for our performance
A few were posted on youtube until I was shutdown
 
3) It is illegal to place an ice cream cone in your pocket in public on Sundays

In the summer I get it. That shit will melt
You want a melting heap of cream, toppings and stickiness all over you
Maybe you do
In the winter below 32 degrees, who cares
Maybe it will attract many bitches sniffing out my ass and taking a large bite!
 
4) One cannot wear slippers after 10 pm
 
You shouldn't wear them outside
Then they get dirty and you're tracking them in the house
I see that, I would throw your dirty ass slippers away
 
5) It is illegal to allow your donkey to sleep in your bathtub
 
I'm guilty of this
I've had many jackasses sleeping in my tub, my shed, my basement, even on my roof once
As I'm getting older, yeah I agree with this law
 
6) One is not allowed to toss a ball at someones head just for fun
 
Why not?
That's the beauty of it
It's also a skill to hit someone directly in the face
Bleeding is extra points
 
7) No one is allowed go put their thumb on their nose and wiggle their fingers at someone

If this is illegal, then can I stick my thumb up my ass and wiggle it near someone's nose?
This sounds much more interesting
 
8) In residential neighborhoods, you are not permitted to eat in the street and you can only drink bottled water at the beach

Since NY is one of the dirtiest states in the country, maybe these politicians that created this law, should stick by it
Most people litter and never properly throw their garbage away
I actually agree with this
 
9) When attending a concert, it is illegal to snack on peanuts while walking backwards on the sidewalk
 
You show me any person at a concert that can preform this
I doubt it
Most are high or intoxicated
 
10) No One is Allowed to pee on Pigeons in the Park
 
I have come across these annoying birds so many times in NYC  
Next time I see them & nature calls they'll get a mouthful!
 
11) In New York, If You're a Man Sporting a Set of 'Man Boobs'
 
Damn right!  
Men & woman should not be exposed to something as graphic & disturbing as that
Purchase a bra!
Horrible!!
 
12) You may only water your lawn if you are holding the hose
 
How about you hold my hose as I cum on you
What a stupid fucking law!
 
13) It is illegal for three or more unrelated individuals to reside in the same apartment
 
Is this how the migrants get away with having 15-20 people in one apartment?
Because their all related or is it one of the many laws that doesn't pertain to them
BULLSHIT!!
 
14) Under no circumstances can you chop up a persons tongue. The only ones who can are doctors and dentists.

This has been done numerous times in the comfort of my home
If you talk to much, you're tongue is removed, sliced, cooked & eaten
Many woman have left my home speechless
 
15) You cannot parachute out of a plane unless you are ordered to, or if your life is at risk
 
Really?!!?
There's a company out near me where I've skydived
Another ridiculous, outrageous law that only NY would have
 
16) If you are caught flirting, you must pay a fine of $25.00
 
Since most of the youth today don't even talk to anyone out on the streets,  
I can see some real uptight prude, contacting the authorities or recording it with their i-phone
"Sir, Ma'am, don't compliment me, I'm going to have you reported!!"
I would have fines exceeding $ 5,000.00!!
 
17) One is not allowed to eat ice cream at a bus stop
 
What is with NY and ice cream??!
FUCK!!
I mean really?!
I'd eat ice cream at the stop and on the bus, just to piss someone off
 
18) Men are forbidden to wear a jacket without matching pants
 
I don't wear jackets or pants
Just t-shirts & shorts
Many hipsters/millennials actually dress like clowns
I would push for stronger laws against them!!
 
19) One must purchase a license for placing wet clothes on a clothesline to dry
 
Use a dryer
Don't have a dryer, use a clothesline
Get fined, tell them you're not from this country
You'll get a free pass
 
20) It's illegal to change the color of your rabbits fur
 
Don't worry I wont!
Is it illegal to change the color of your own pubes or someone you love?
I hope not
My girlfriends pubes were just dyed last night a cookie monster blue
HOT!!
 
I hope everyone who reads this and lives in NY will disobey these laws and fucks shit up!!
In addition, I can't have fireworks this coming July 4th!!