#10

Blink.
Sometimes it feels like that is all I can do.
At sometime I lost control and so I'll just drown it out.

Blink.
The light coming from my window falls sweetly on my pillow.
Hard to move on when nothing is wrong.
glance over next to me, asleep and content dreaming of where we have been.
Get out of bed, take a few steps see no regrets coming out of this one.
Dark. Its hot and its wet got the steam and the scent so now I am finally clean.
White, had my eyes closed for to long, think reality's gone, nope, just my morning coffee.
How fast years go, how few and far between the chances I get.
Oh well, I'll just try tomorrow.
(Blink)

Cold sweat.
Patches of red flesh.
Flashes of anger?
Despair?
Can you know?
Fear written all over a face of flaws.
Speaks but stutters.
I can't.

Waves of red again.
Again.
The stones keep grinding.
Won't stop. No help.
Chaos of  the mind impedes me breathing again.
Again.
Gone.
It's okay. No it's not.
Here you are, sweet trauma.
Waves, more waves.
Crash and hurt.
The pain.
Gone.
Again.
Gone.

It's not real.
They're smiling.
See?
It's okay.
Nothing is there.
Knife? Pain? No.
No.
I won't.
Can't.
No.
A careful eye is what was had.
A shattered mind is why he's sad.
Not I, said a voice.
I call, no answer.
A lost life if any.
The frostbite is plenty.
A hand asks:
A chair?
No, a flinch, and a small one at that.
A chair?
No, a stare, and a long one at that.
Sitting without thinking
"so,"
First day.
Release.
Hollow noise, turned to release.
Shuddered breathing as i scream and cry.
It's okay it's okay.
It's out.
You see?

Slash and stab.
Pain.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
Breathe.

Your here?
Silence.
I wont scream at you o sweet silence.
Breathe.
Release, exit, exist.
Exist.
Breathe.
Release.

Streets and smiles
Happy but just a little dim.
Tinted windows of cars are so familiar.
Tinted mind.
Healed, but not better.
Breathe.
Beauty and chaos.
Is okay.
I am okay.

The world a nice assortment of colors-
Emotions.
Blue.
Purple.
Yellow.
Red.
Green.
They live.
We are alive.
Break away.
Gasping for breath
The final moment.
I am okay.

Are you?