IDGAF

I don't give a fuck

I cant possibly count how many times I've said those words
There was a time when I meant it
Can't remember the last time that was

If anyone would give a fuck its me
All I do is give a fuck
About everyone

Except me

Thats the only time when I mean it
The only time when it's not a lie

The weight of everyone else hangs on me
Like sandbags strapped to every part of my body

Their sadness, their stress
It becomes mine
It becomes my responsibility
I want to fix it
Make it better

If I can't, I beat myself up
I get frustrated with myself
I feel like I'm not being a good person

I feel like if I'm not part of the solution then I'm part of the problem
I know what its like to suffer alone
I know how it feels to have nobody that cares
I cant stand the idea of someone feeling like that

No one ever deserves to feel that

I say that I don't give a fuck
But if anyone would give it
I'm the one