deepundergroundpoetry.com
Self Hatred
Inescapable and loud,
It screams at me.
I am enamored by the beauty of the world all around me,
I am unable to find any within myself.
I cannot find such abundant flaws in anyone but myself;
I suppose I should think that unfair, but I have no place for anger.
I am unhappy with myself,
I feel joy in everything I do.
Self actualization,
Bleeding into self hatred.
I am so in my own head,
And so separated from myself.
I am loved,
I am unlovable.
The inked edges of my face and body become smudged as I run my thumb through the pictures.
If my grotesque figure looks just horrid enough to be intentional,
Perhaps I’ll laugh along.
People say that ego is a most deadly thing to possess,
and the most valuable tool one has.
Perhaps my being is the result of a lack of such tool,
Or an inside joke from God.
It screams at me.
I am enamored by the beauty of the world all around me,
I am unable to find any within myself.
I cannot find such abundant flaws in anyone but myself;
I suppose I should think that unfair, but I have no place for anger.
I am unhappy with myself,
I feel joy in everything I do.
Self actualization,
Bleeding into self hatred.
I am so in my own head,
And so separated from myself.
I am loved,
I am unlovable.
The inked edges of my face and body become smudged as I run my thumb through the pictures.
If my grotesque figure looks just horrid enough to be intentional,
Perhaps I’ll laugh along.
People say that ego is a most deadly thing to possess,
and the most valuable tool one has.
Perhaps my being is the result of a lack of such tool,
Or an inside joke from God.
Published 29th Jun 2024
Author's Note
When you cannot harbor hatred for another person (but you hate yourself so much you don’t even feel worthy of the title of “person”).
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
29th Jun 2024 10:04am
The introspection in this is really vulnerable and I really appreciated that about this piece. I found it really interesting that note that we are never more critical of anybody than we are of ourselves. And that screams truth to me.
Thank you for sharing this piece. Wishing you well.
-M
Thank you for sharing this piece. Wishing you well.
-M
