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And So it Goes - Reflections on Aging
Life’s no damn good. You're born, you have some laughs, you take a spin on the old love-go-round, and then you die. And if you're like me, you spend a good chunk of your life looking for love, or at least some pleasant diversion from the sameness of life.
Even now, after 30 years, every time I fuck a woman, I can't help but think of the first girl I made love to. I haven’t seen her in over twenty years. Last week, I found out that she died five years ago having birthed three daughters and survived two failed marriages. I have a picture from 1993 but can’t make that image jive with the woman in her obituary photo. Seems like life takes a lot from us in the living, but she was still beautiful when she died.
I remember the feeling of being with her, the sense of discovery in touching uncharted territories of another woman's body for the first time. She was the one who showed me the map, who gave me the compass to navigate this crazy, mixed-up thing we call love. She taught me the steps to a dance that doesn't make a damn bit of sense but keeps the music playing. And so it goes.
Even now, after 30 years, every time I fuck a woman, I can't help but think of the first girl I made love to. I haven’t seen her in over twenty years. Last week, I found out that she died five years ago having birthed three daughters and survived two failed marriages. I have a picture from 1993 but can’t make that image jive with the woman in her obituary photo. Seems like life takes a lot from us in the living, but she was still beautiful when she died.
I remember the feeling of being with her, the sense of discovery in touching uncharted territories of another woman's body for the first time. She was the one who showed me the map, who gave me the compass to navigate this crazy, mixed-up thing we call love. She taught me the steps to a dance that doesn't make a damn bit of sense but keeps the music playing. And so it goes.
Published 28th Jun 2024
Author's Note
Imagining reflections on my first love in the voice of one of my favorite authors, Kurt Vonnegut.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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28th Jun 2024 2:40pm
No longer in your life but you have the memory. These sentences I find evocative,
I remember the feeling of being with her, the sense of discovery in touching uncharted territories of another woman's body for the first time. She was the one who showed me the map, who gave me the compass to navigate this crazy, mixed-up thing we call love. She taught me the steps to a dance that doesn't make a damn bit of sense but keeps the music playing.
On the bottom right picture, I don't recall during the early 90s anyone who would have been 20 having a hairstyle like that - I might have thought it was early 1950s.
I remember the feeling of being with her, the sense of discovery in touching uncharted territories of another woman's body for the first time. She was the one who showed me the map, who gave me the compass to navigate this crazy, mixed-up thing we call love. She taught me the steps to a dance that doesn't make a damn bit of sense but keeps the music playing.
On the bottom right picture, I don't recall during the early 90s anyone who would have been 20 having a hairstyle like that - I might have thought it was early 1950s.
28th Jun 2024 8:53pm
