emo twinks still remind me of you

I purge these old memories  
a lifetimes worth of horror  
and I find that your face  
is the only one I miss  
 
Because we were beautiful  
and fucked up and you  
were my best friend  
 
I still remember the way  
it felt to get wrapped up  
in your slender arms  
and the way you tasted  
of cigarettes and Malibu  
and platonic love  
 
I remember the way we'd  
write terrible poetry together  
you, my first ever  
collaborater in crime  
the shit we penned on paper  
often making us laugh so hard  
we couldn't breathe  
 
I loved you after everyone else  
was long gone  
 
And I'll never understand  
how you chose him over me  
that stupid man you loved  
that you wouldn't believe  
was abusing me when you weren't around  
in the apartment we all shared  
 
Your relationship ending within a month  
of me deciding I couldn't live like that  
and I did my trademark act  
of making myself disappear  
 
I tried to stay friends with you  
after you begged my forgiveness  
but this wasn't something I could forgive  
 
You broke my already broken heart  
   
I wish I could freeze that old love  
somewhere in time  
untouched by your betrayal  
 
But I can't  
and instead I suffer through  
these random moments  
of missing you