So.. Alone..

im so lonely out here in nowhereville.. nobody likes me. and that hurts. but what hurts more is tht some of those ppl actually have good reasons for hating my guts. i dont go out on dates, i dont get invited to parties, nobody tells me abt social events, i have no friends to visit on the weekends, iv never slpt over at a non-realtive's. im an outcast. an oddity. a dork. ive even been called retard more than a few times. and the pain and the sadness just builds up over days, sometimes weeks, and just comes out all at once. i literally cant stop crying. and im 16, im a big guy, so y am i crying? nobody cares. nobody listens. i have a phone, not one person ever takes the initiative to text me. have an email- the only thing i get is a cheesy joke from a joke newsletter i signed up for. ive sent you a few. it hurts when u log in hoping for the slightest iota of human interaction, and theres nothing but a bad joke waiting for you. girls dont like me. girls ask other girls if theyre dating me as a way to insult them. im the butt of so many jokes its not even funny. i really wish i had someone who completely understood me and made me feel secure and loved and appreciated. i wish i didnt cry all the time, then my brothers wouldnt mock me. at least not abt the crying, theyll still make fun of everything else. my eyes sting. no one ever makes me feel good. and im empty and hollow inside. i hate getting up in the morning. its pointless. going to sleep isnt much more fun, bc my pillows wet with tears by the time ive cried myself to sleep. damn, life sucks. life isnt worth it without HER.