The Single Father

There is always guilt
floating in the waves
of the distinction
and the comparison
to the others
that successfully
maintained their marriages
can shade the day
with mixed feelings
 
I will get a lovely card
from my only child
and I never doubt
the genuine love
despite that phone
that often gets in the way
when answers to my questions
are greeted with a "what?" or a mumble
 
This life is very back and forth
two days off, five days on
from silence to energy
but without her
it would be an empty life
 
I feel bad  
that their are few opportunities for us
to engage in the social riches
that some families are privileged to have
 
I'm sure she sees her dad
as a lone wolf
but it was never by design
 
i wish I could crack that code
and we could experience more
 
I don't need a gift
though I would love a night
where someone figured out dinner
and presented me
with barbequed steak
like so many others will get tonight
 
I could eat out,
but I would have to pay
 
I do envy the dad's
that get the red carpet treatment,
I won't be one of them
but I'm kind of used to that
 
Hopefully, I can figure out
something we can do today
to break-up the same old routines
 
But see,
it's left up to me
and it will probably involve negotiation,
these kids can be a bit stubborn
when they have the constant entertainment
in their hands
 
But it won't stop me,
from giving it a shot.