When can I stop trying?

I can’t keep hitching my breath,
Or I may actually forget to breathe.
But my mind is only good for painting scenes.
Replaying my first attempt caused a stumble,
But feeling the last has me floored.
Keep my mind off the emotion,
Keep my mind off my mind,
Enough!
When can I stop trying?
When is it okay to give up?
I’m exhausted, I just want to sleep.
Reluctantly, my eyes close.
Why am I so hesitant?
Maybe it’s my mom’s photograph on the dresser.
Maybe it’s my dog’s whimper at the door.
But, my head bobbled over the tub,
And I gasped for the air I’ve never wanted.
How ironic.